by Christine Callen

Created on: August 06, 2009   Last Updated: August 07, 2009

There are many influences on a marriage that can cause the spark to fade. Today's modern couple are faced with innumerable outside stresses, especially if both spouses are out in the workforce. Simple day to day living can take its toll on even the strongest of relationships. This is why it is so very important couples work at keeping the spark alive and kicking. It is all too easy to fall into stagnant routines, and allow outside stressors to dominate the flow of activity within the relationship.

Remembering the little things is a big way to keep the sparks flying. Nothing over the top, just little things to let your spouse know you love and appreciate them. Leaving a smiley face on the bathroom mirror, a cup of coffee in bed, a peck on the cheek for no particular reason, holding hands . . . all the things you used to do without thinking when you were first dating. There is no reason to stop doing those things now that you are a married couple. The fact that you are now a married couple makes those little things all the more important.

Setting time for just the two of you, no matter if it's on the back porch sipping a cup of tea or running an errand, is hugely important. Even if but for a few minutes, you, as a couple, need time to reconnect . . . time to give of yourselves, and remember why you got married in the first place, you liked being together. You need to make that time a priority, at least once a week. Your marriage should come first, it is the foundation upon which your coupled life will be built.

Romance, and romantic gestures, should play a vital role in your relationship. Showing physical attention to your partner seals your devotion. For many couples, it's hard to find the time for physical love, and when they do have the time, one or both of them may be too tired to do anything but sleep. Sex is a very big part of your relationship, if you've never got the time, you better make time. Send the kids with grandma for a night once in a while. Plan a special evening of romance and love making, what a special way to rejuvenate your relationship. Of course, it's not practical to do this all the time, but if it's been way too long, pick up the phone and call grandma.

Don't forget to laugh together once in a while. The daily grind and responsibilities of the household can affect conversations in a major way, it seems there is always some important issue to discuss. Try being less serious every now and then. Set aside your worries and just chitchat, see the lighter side of things. Pick one day a week, and make that the one day you won't discuss anything bigger than what to have for dinner. Take a break from the issues and enjoy some good conversation. Watch a funny movie together, or go to a comedy club on a date. Play board games, there are some really interesting adult games, (that aren't too dirty) you can enjoy in private if the mood strikes you. Be creative. The sky is the limit.

The point is, to make a conscious effort. If your marriage means anything to you, the effort needed to keep the spark going is easy as pie. Your love will guide you. The trick is, not to get caught up so deeply in the day to day grind that you get lost and lose sight of your marriage's needs.

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