by Morticia Alexander

Created on: August 06, 2009

The two most influential people in my life are, undoubtedly, both of my grandmothers.

My mom's mother is the biggest icon of hospitality and generosity in my life. She never refuses a person who is truly in need, and she is the first to reach out to anyone who needs the help. She is a true caregiver and nurturer at heart. My whole senior year in high school, she made my breakfast and lunch every single day. I never once asked her to do that for me, but she wanted to fix something that I would enjoy eating, as opposed to me suffering through the cafeteria food (or going hungry). Every week, I would leave the house with a basket full of dirty clothes in my room, and I would return to said clothes washed and folded on my bed, separated by which drawer each article would inevitably be put in. Whenever things get too hectic at home, she always has an empty bed waiting for me at her house that has an open invitation attached to it, regardless of the hour. Despite growing up with a bipolar, abusive father, this woman has all of the love in the world to give, and has no restrictions or limitations on giving it. In the theory of repetition compulsion, she should have grown up to be the authoritarian parent that her father was; however, she broke the theory in half, and she became the exact opposite. She took all of the love that she didn't receive from him and gave it out unceasingly to anyone within arm's reach.

My dad's mother, on the other hand, is the icon of strength and endurance. In July of 2006, she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Despite the doctors telling her she had six weeks to live at best, she stood up to it and fought. From day one her attitude was always I'm going to fight this, and I'm going to get through it. In that situation, it would have been so easy to just give up. In fact, most people would have. Instead, she decided to stand up and fight it head-on. Four months after her diagnosis, she was pronounced cancer-free. Needless to say, her spirits were on cloud nine. Sadly, however, a month later, her cancer came back. Even then in her relapse, she never gave up hope. She kept her fighter's attitude, and stepped up for round two. In the end, although cancer was responsible for taking her life, it did not win. She fought every second until the bitter end, and refused to be defeated. I have all of the respect in the world for cancer survivors; however, it is a lot harder to keep your spirits up with cancer than it is to fight cured from it. So in the end, she won the fight, because she never gave up.

These two women have taught me how I should live my own life, and they have taught me how to make the best of it. They taught me how to love unconditionally and never let anything dominate me or my spirits. I am so lucky to be honored with the privilege of having both of them to influence my life. I know I would not be the same person without them and the lessons they have taught me.

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