by Meredith Devereaux

Created on: August 06, 2009

The name says it all...toddler "leashes." They also sport more politically correct monikers...like "harness buddies." Manufacturers may attempt to make these devices more appealing by covering them in fur, putting adorable animal faces on the back, and naming them in darling ways...but make no mistake. A leash is a leash, monkey face or not. And in utilizing a leash on children, parents may inadvertently communicate to the general public that their kids are best handled like animals.

Basically, well-intentioned parents are attaching a long tether to their wandering, bumbling, adorable toddlers and hoping that the extra cord of connection will allow them to reel their offspring back in when danger is afoot. More than likely, however, the leash itself will work as a tripping hazard to the child and other passersby as well. Often I feel these leashes promise a false sense of freedom to the child, who actually may become irate at being within a hair's reach of something appealing and then being jerked away in the nick of time. A lot of headache can be avoided altogether by using a stroller in dicey walking situations. Do I believe parents use child leashes in any way to purposely degrade or humiliate their kids? No. They are hoping to satisfy Junior's wanderlust and keep some semblance of sanity on their part too. But I'd wager Junior wouldn't like to discover any snapshots of being "walked" around the mall like Fido in his glory days either.

Personally, I am of the opinion that children can be safely monitored with a parent walking nearby. If the child wants to wander and is doing so unsafely, a natural consequence would be to talk to the child, redirect to a safer area to explore, or warn the child that wandering will result in stroller time or having to hold mom or dad's hand. Then, as a parent, stick to that plan, regardless of how much displeasure your child conveys. And be ready for some displeasure! Children who are learning to walk are also asserting their independence in other areas such as eating, dressing, and sleeping. Parents should realize that some oppostion is normal, but setting limits is necessary, and best done early on. Consequences teach, and eventually the same child who uses a leash as a toddler must learn to explore the world safely and without running away from mom or dad. Having seen older children STILL attached to those ubiquitous "monkeys" on their backs time and again, and looking miserable to boot, I think the better time to learn some autonomy is when the child is much younger and easily lifted! Tantrums are much shorter with an angry two year-old than an angry, strong, and confused five year-old who has never been taught to amble otherwise.

Everyone feels their children act like little animals from time to time. Children can seem unpredictable and can quickly get into trouble. But teaching boundaries early and consistently is essential, and toddler leashes postpone those lessons that are best learned early. The world is a big place. There's a lot of things, good and bad, that children will discover in their wandering. Wouldn't you rather a child reach for a warm hand rather than a long rope when he loses his way?

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