by Connie Rae

Created on: August 05, 2009   Last Updated: August 07, 2009

Children need certain and specific things in their daily life for healthy growth and development: If these elements are an active part of their daily lives, they will begin to learn the meaning of valuing others, and behaving in ways that express their attitudes toward persons they don't always understand, or agree with - respect for themselves, and for others/

1) Children need to be loved, and to love in return. It is important that they know they are the most important person in their parent's world. They need to be loved with an unselfish love that seeks the best for the child, and they need to know that the love they show their parents is accepted and cherished.

2) They need stability in their living environment, primarily the stability of their parents. They can be moved across continents and change schools and weather the adjustments, if Mom and Dad remain steadfast and are there.

3) Children need discipline. Discipline is more than punishment and consequences, although it may include these. Discipline suggests "discipling" our children to be like us. So to the degree a parent has reasonable love and respect for himself, or herself, this will be what the child learns. Disclpline involves teaching, training, encouragement, praise for tasks well done.

4) Children need consistency. They need to know what is expected of them and how to behave within the parameters set by the parents. They need to know what will happen if they choose to operate outside of those parameters. And they need their parents to consistently follow through with both rewards and consequences.

5) Children need to see, and be taught, values they will carry through their lives - honesty, truthfulness, compassion, integrity, a work ethic that will enable them to take care of themselves, eventually, respect for others, the difference between right and wrong behavior, and other important values parents hold dear.

Sounds like a formidable task for any parent, doesn't it? But respecting what a child needs in order to grow into a respectful human being involves paying attention to what a child needs during his growing up years in our home. Respecting a child means giving him, or her, the message that they matter. They are imporant. They need three important messages from their parents, that will speak of respect.

1) They need to hear they have value to us simply because they exist. "I love you because you are." They need to know that love is not given because of "what you do"

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