by Warren O. Brennan

Created on: August 04, 2009

Roommates can be a blessing or a curse. A best friend or a worst enemy.

If you think about it, the college dorm room is a breeding ground for conflict. It is you and your roommates first time living away from home, first time away from friends and family for a long period of time, first experiences with alcohol being so readily available, and first experience with large amounts of work on your plate at all times. The stress plies up and disagreement becomes an outlet. Here are some tips that I have used to try and avoid any big blow ups with a pesky roommate:

Your side, their side

No matter if you are living with a high school friend that you have know for years or if you are being placed with someone you have never met, your own space is crucial to a healthy living environment. This is not always easy, since your closet at home may be larger than your new dorm room, however ensuring your desks and dressers are on opposite sides of the room can actually go a long way. This is primarily because the majority of disagreement between roommates is over arguments of material items. By having your own space you reduce the chances that your stuff will go missing or that a careless spill by your roommate will end up on your things.

Avoid escalation

Disagreement and standing up for yourself is good, however when you are leaving with someone in a small living space sometimes you just need to learn to let it go. If you are going to argue over something, pick your spot. Make sure your disagreement is over a substantive issue and not something petty. Small spats constantly will only turn into big blow ups. It is best to just look the other way on minor indifferences, like your roommate not doing their share of menial chores, and reserve your anger for any big issues that present themselves.

Dealing with alcohol

Alcohol is a driving force behind a lot of conflict at college. The first preventive measure that you should take to prevent this is to ensure you own drinking is in check. You don't want to become someone who is an agitator and turn into a pesky roommate yourself. If your roommate is drinking too much don't be afraid to confront them, however wait to they are sober. There is no use arguing with someone who has had too much to drink. When they are sober though, they should be called accountable for their actions. Sit them down, recount their actions, and discuss your objection to them. If they refuse to apologies or change, take your case to the RA. While you should be willing to deal with a messy room, alcoholism or other destructive behavior is something you should never have to tolerate.

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