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How to choose a college major

by Michael Skinner

Created on: August 04, 2009

What do you want to do for the rest of your life? If you have an answer to that question then your major should be obvious. If you don't have the answer to that then maybe you shouldn't go to college. There are a certain number of people who need to go out into the real world and do a little travelling or a little working so that at the very least they know what they are not good at and what they do not want to do.

There are aptitude tests you can take that supposedly tell you what you are good at. Maybe you would be good at giving aptitude tests-for instance.

Let us say you are a lazy slacker who would like to do a little as possible and even less if you can get away with it. Then the perfect career for you might be in government. Private industry has less tolerance for slackers than government. Private firms tend to take people who "like to work at nothing all day" as free loaders who are eating other people's lunch. In government, since there are no profits being made and there is plenty of nothing going on, so who would know what you accomplished today anyway? The government needs just about every kind of worker you can imagine with the possible exceptions of strippers and honest accountants. So just knowing that you, a dedicated slacker, want to a government job does note tell us much.

Let's say that you wanted to be a man of amorphous disciplines and pseudo talents with an important sounding job title. Then you my friend need to go into public policy. Public policy is a fancy way of saying you want to tell everyone else what to do for change. Admit it slacker, you love the sound of that. You were born to be a bureaucrat.

Unfortunately there is the hard part of getting that degree first. You could study political science. Now there's a group of folks who don't even know how to burn toast properly. And you could be one of them!

But slacker if you major in public policy, political science, history, or liberal arts, they make you write papers and do research. And even if what these folks come up with as politicians is almost always pure grade "A" BS, they works darn hard at it.

Admit it slacker, you don't want to work that hard. Well take heart. Over in the engineering department (quick avert your eyes lest the unbridled fury of pure mathematics blind you) they have a name for the subject matter you seek. They called if fuzzy studies. A degree in fuzzy studies doesn't qualify you to butter toast, but it's still

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