by Adelani Aderemi

Created on: August 04, 2009

Three months prior to my wedding date, I lost my job. One after the other, all the investments I have made hoping to use the profits to organize the wedding ceremony crashed one after the other. My wife's company was also caught up by the Federal Government's Privatisation of Public Enterprises policy and staffs were not paid for upwards of six months. So many times, the thought of taking an exit route out of town crossed my mind for I dreaded having to invite all people and then disgrace them for what they might conceive as poor planning. However, the wedding still took place as scheduled on October 13, 2001.

It was held in Makurdi, the capital city of Benue State where my in laws lived. I had to travel down from Kano in the North. My mother and siblings together with a few friends joined up, having travelled from different corners of the country to Makurdi. It was a variegated mix of language and cultural display on the engagement day as I and my team from the Yoruba tribe of South Western Nigeria formally asked for the hand of a bride of Igala by tribe who lived in Makurdi town the home of the Tiv people. There was free display of cultural values like customs, songs and dance. We all drank from each others' wealth of culture with tolerance and love.

Church solemnization of marriage was at the Qua Iboe Church in Makurdi but the marriage reception was held at Benue Hotels PLC where the Police band displayed their talents on all genre of music ranging from the evergreens of the 60s to the Afro, Reggae and blues.

Despite all my fears, the wedding was a successful one by all standards. However, as we danced on the reception ground, news broke on TV that Kano was engulfed in another religious riot and the Islamic fundamentals were burning churches and Christian residents again.

This meant two things to me immediately. One, we must not go back to Kano soon as we planned before. The honeymoon had to be done somewhere else. Two, we might not even have a place to go back to in Kano after the honey moon, except if we were fortunate to still have our rented apartment unscathed either by the raging inferno or by the looting urchins.

Well as I would not have such things ruin such an important day, I buried the thoughts and lived for the moment. We had the first dinner at the Nigerian Air Force Officers' mess at Makurdi, sponsored by my elder brother. My wife and I left the guests and family there and went to a prepared nest to hibernate. It was such a wonderful period full of joy and expectations. Maybe you are wondering if I told my wife we might not be having a house to go back to in Kano? If you were in my shoes, would you choose that day to break such news?

Learn more about this author, Adelani Aderemi.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.