by C. L. Craven

Created on: August 04, 2009

To have a set standard on household chores within a family unit is certainly a process that takes place over time. Initially, young couples struggle to find a balance where both spouses are contributing within the household. However, the scales are not always balanced in this area due to life styles and life changing events. If both spouses are responsible in other areas, it stands to reason they would be responsible where the household is concerned. In a perfect environment this could be true, however, many households today are in utter chaos with clothes, shoes, books and the like strewn about, mainly due to the preoccupation of jobs, outside activities and family emergencies.

As in the work place, "It's not my job" is often the response to domestic requests at home and typically, one or the other spouse assumes the role of caretaker in this area. The stereotype mothering image of the woman dutifully cooking the meals, washing the dishes and laundry, buying groceries and running the kids is no longer the norm, as more and more men are stepping up to the plate to assume some of these responsibilities and thankfully so, as more and more woman are now the main bread winners.

Through these tough economical times, many husbands are on unemployment and providing domestic support while there wives are still employed. With gratitude that there is enough income to cover monthly expenses these good men are learning to do laundry, cook meals while still providing emotional support for their wives who come through the door after a long day of working. In this case, the work load of the household is probably not divided equally, with good reason.

In the beginning of our marriage, my husband mowed the grass, took the garbage to the curb, worked everyday and occasionally helped with the dishes. It was a nice balance, as we would shop for groceries together and he always carried them in to the house and I put the groceries away. But that balance changed once he lost his job and is now pursuing a different vocation. Our schedules are hectic with him in training and not home when I am home, so I have assumed garbage detail and we take turns cleaning when one of us has a day off to do so. He will also cook for himself when I am on the night shift, or I will bring something home.

Roles change back and forth throughout the marriage. Sometimes because of illness or injury the healthy spouse will assume most of the household chores pushing themselves to their limits. Their standards may have to change due to their inability to do it all during this time and perhaps, if financially able, seek outside help. Professional housekeepers may provide domestic support in times of crisis to families who are buried in piles of laundry and stacks of dishes.

Children can play an important role and develop a disciplined spirit simply by providing them with a list of things to do throughout the week. Working Mothers and Fathers throughout the world rely on their children to help maintain the home once they have reached an acceptable age. Even toddlers love to help around the house. As a child of four my Mother taught me to help with the dishes and I remember the feeling of accomplishment, even at that age. So, involve your children in the household chores as well and teach them at a young age that work is a natural process and not drudgery in life.

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