by Ed Barkum

Created on: August 03, 2009

Common Interracial Marriage Stumbling Blocks And How To Overcome Them

An assessment of common interracial marriage stumbling blocks, along with a prescription for overcoming them, presents a challenging and thought-provoking exercise. To begin with, the world only has three major race groups; Negroid, (blacks) Caucasoid (whites) and Mongoloid (Asian/Indian/Hispanic). And the lines between interracial marriages and same-race marriages are not as discernible today as they were 50 to 60 years ago, as decades of interracial relationships have created a melting pot of mixed offspring. However the more distinguishing features of the black race makes race mixing involving blacks easier to discern than any of the other races. Interracial mixing with blacks tends to be the least socially acceptable choice, thereby stigmatizing those marriages, and subjecting them to a different treatment than other interracial unions.

Herein lies the first of the stumbling blocks facing interracial couples. Like it or not, there is a perception among most people that interracial marriage is generally presumed to mean a black person married to a non-black person. Interracial marriages where neither spouse is black are not frowned upon quite as much as when one spouse is black. Consequently many non-black interracial couples go about their lives completely free of the sneers and jeers, and overheard comments suffered by black interracial couples. The only rational way to overcome this kind of prejudice is through understanding and forgiveness, as we can neither change nor avoid it.

Unlike having to put up with the sneers and jeers of total strangers, some of the most hurtful stumbling blocks that interracial couples must learn to overcome are those initiated by family and friends. In spite of how much we may try to conceal it, all humans are capable of demonstrating some form of prejudice or bias for one thing over another, and that's OK. However its not OK when these feelings are directed towards the spouse of a friend or relative, simply because that person happens to be of a different race. And let me quickly point out to those of you who are guilty of racial prejudice, and prone to making those feeble attempts to disguise it with your tired old stories about your best friend in high school being black, just STOP IT! Please know and understand, we can see through your transparency and read you like a book. You'd be better off to just say nothing.

The same is true

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