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Arranged

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Most people envision their future partner in life. Some people have a list of criteria, such as successful, caring, wants children, well-educated, stable, good income, shared values and so forth. These people seek a firm long-term commitment to share their life's journey. When emotions and hormones appear, this list is often set aside in pursuit of the love and objects of desire, not necessarily people who will remain permanent part of lives.

Arranged marriages built on strong solid foundations have a greater chance for success because commitments are based on a combination of thought and emotion. A child raised with the expectation of families or chosen representatives arranging future mates, is often raised in a family or social situation where family and community share importance in this same foundation. Their expectations of partners and married life are different from those who simply believe they will fall in love and live happily ever after.

A misconception about arranged marriage is that of choice. In an arranged marriage with all the traditional criteria of a good character, a good family, and a good future, people come together with the same expectations, goals and values. While the youthful passionate love may not overwhelm the couple, a love based on mutual respect, acceptance and friendship often emerges.

Romantic love is often defined by society as either full of need and expectation. Love with conditions creates an unrealistic expectation, the person loved is the perfect marriage partner. If this love is superficial based on appearances, sexual prowess or material trappings, where is the foundation to keep this love intact? The first wave of discontent or unhappiness triggers the unraveling of romantic love

The emotional needs and wants do NOT overwhelm an arranged marriage. In today's world of marriage and "live happily ever after," too many people enter marriages with stars in their eyes. They truly do not have the traditional courtship of the past where families knew each other, and the support system of the community was in place. They do not have a voice of reason to talk them through immature and premature decisions that have long term affects on their lives. As the expression says "marry in haste and regret in leisure."

Women without the support of family and community become consumers of magazines, books, programs and movies to define their personal relationships including marriage. How many women are seeking "the one," that perfect

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