by Shelley Mendias

Created on: August 03, 2009   Last Updated: August 09, 2009

I was born right after World War II and I was raised culturally Jewish in Brooklyn, NY. We never went to temple. Jewish holidays were neither traditional nor religious. It was a time for our family to gather.

My children were born Jewish by heritage. Since I wasn't raised with the religious part of Judaism I wasn't going to force religion on my sons. I did not Bar Mitzvah them. I wanted to give them the freedom of choice. I told my boys if you ever feel you need religion study the differences and if you feel in your heart that this is your choice I will support you.

My oldest son married a Christian girl. He started going to church with her and the pastor of the church counseled him and eventually he converted to Christianity. He told me it is in heart and I gave him my blessings.

I would be envious of my Christian friends because they had Jesus. I never understood the Ideology of Christianity. It was a hard concept for me to believe.

I never thought myself as an Atheist. Agnostic was what I called myself. If it was ever proved there really was a God I wanted to be able to keep my options open.

I went a quest to find a perfect religion to fill that void.

I started reading about all the old religions and how religions started. It was fascinating to learn how each religion was based on the Pagan philosophy. I loved reading about the Gods and Goddesses and the Sun and the Moon.

I now look at the Sun and the Moon for what they are - my God and Goddess; without the Sun and Moon we have no Earth. When I look at a full Moon I see the Goddess. The light of the Sun warms me inside as well as outside. Only the way God can. I am at peace for the first time in a long life.

On my journey I started reading Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" which enforced my new emergence into believing energies of the Universe and how we are all connected.

I try to live my life with less negativity and treasure each moment. I am on some new path now and I love where it is taking me.

On one stop on my journey the realizations came to me: It isn't the Ideology of religion I was searching for. Religion is just a book of rules written by some men gazillion years ago. I learned that religion and spirituality are not one and the same. I am at peace that I have all that I need. I have the NOW.

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