by M.A. Dal Cero

Created on: August 02, 2009

The question of whether or not chatting online can be considered cheating is highly debatable. On the one hand, many people are of the opinion that online chatting with a member of the opposite sex could easily cross the line into emotional infidelity, and that it should be avoided completely. Further, despite the fact that emotional infidelity is often viewed by those who engage in it as nothing more than a harmless mutual crush, some individuals believe that it is, in reality, a stepping-stone to full-blown sexual infidelity, and that online chatting increases the chances that a physical affair will occur as a result . On the other hand, some people feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with chatting or even mild flirting online, provided that the conversation does not develop into one which is purely sexual. Still others, particularly those who are actively looking for a so-called "safe" form of cheating, seek out online relationships for sexual or romantic purposes even though they are aware that their partners would not approve of their actions. In essence, it would appear that the answer to the question of whether or not online chatting is indeed cheating boils down to one's motives for engaging in it, and if the online relationship is having a negative effect on the individual's primary relationship.

Plainly stated, any relationship, sexual or non-sexual, that causes a person to become emotionally distant from his or her partner is harmful, and online chatting, when one's motives are impure, is not an exception to this rule. Typically, when individuals engage in online relationships, they do so without their partner's knowledge, and they hide what they are doing under a veil of secrecy. In reality, this type of behavior is not unlike that of those who are involved in sexual infidelity. Further, the amount of attention that is being placed on the online relationship inevitably takes time and attention off of the primary relationship, and this alone has the potential to cause problems between the couple. It is also important to note that if and when an individual's significant other discovers that his or her spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend has not only been chatting online with someone, but also hiding the fact that he or she is doing so, then the emotional effects are often as devastating as those which occur as the result of a sexual affair. In fact, innocent online chatting can quickly and easily turn into a relationship that is romantic or sexual in nature, and some individuals do enter into online relationships for the sole purpose of meeting someone with whom they can pursue a physical relationship. Therefore, while it might be argued that online chatting is more or less a "safe" form of cheating, or not cheating at all, it cannot be denied that it has the potential to bring harm to the primary relationship.

Of course, this is not to say that members of the opposite sex who chat online on a friendly basis are cheating. In fact, with the popularity of online social networking websites, it has become far easier and quite common for people to make new friends, re-connect with old friends, and to chat with both on nearly a daily basis. However, problems arise when conversations online take a turn from friendly to flirtatious to downright sexual. In cases such as these, the likelihood that chatting could become cheating is higher, and people can, and often do, find themselves on the slippery slope that is emotional and/or sexual infidelity.

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