by Anthony Megna

Created on: August 02, 2009   Last Updated: March 05, 2012

We all have pet peeves, but drivers who drive slow in the fast lane come to my mind immediately! We also know that no one drives the speed limit in the fast lane, that's why they call it the fast lane. So why can't these man-turtles who insist on driving 50mph even though some cars are kissing their bumpers get out of that lane? These are the most dangerous people in the country...

Have you ever tried to send them a message? What can be done about getting them the hell out of the left-hand lane? A few thoughts come to mind...

I like to circle around in front of them and then slow down. This should only be done if there isn't much traffic, but it's great fun. Give them a taste of their own medicine, and see how they like tapping their brakes as much as a jazz drummer taps his bass drum pedal. Another method is leaning on the horn, but usually these morons are in their own world and can't hear the radio let alone hear your horn's drone somewhere in the great beyond. How about pulling parallel beside them and making funny faces? Again, these idiots rate way done in the awareness category, so it's a rare geek that's going to be looking at you making screwed up faces.

Maybe you have some of your own ideas about getting these people back where they belong, in the right-hand slow lane! These fools are responsible for more accidents than any speeder could cause, and it should be a national goal to eliminate them from our roadways. The number one reason for road rage are these brainless stumps, and any means necessary to get rid of them is fine in my book!

A kissing cousin to the previously mentioned slow-pokes are the people who don't use their turn signals. They think that every other driver is skilled in mind-reading, and we "know" exactly what their next move is. But seriously, the real reason is laziness. They are just too damn lazy to lift their hands to the signal lever and use it! Of course, these are also the drivers that have that ubiquitous cell-phone cemented to their ears, and other driver's be damned. These arrogant f*ks could care less about courtesy, and are only interested in dominating the conversation they are having with their stock-broker or their trailer park girlfriends. Friendly driving habits? Yeah, right. Some of these drivers need a step-ladder to get into their vehicles, you know the ones with big tires that belong in a Montana copper mine, not on our nation's roads.

These are just some of the sub-humans driving the roads today, and some of my pet peeves. I'm sure you might have some on your own list, and maybe you are devising an ingenious way to deal with them!

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