by Elaine Sihera

Created on: August 02, 2009

Can one really make one's self more attractive to others? Perhaps. It is not so easy because attraction is such an individual process; a completely random activity. However, tthere are certain patterns or trends within it. There are four main things that draw men to women and, depending on the primary needs of the individual woman, they usually go in the following order:

1. Masculinity and Confidence: Quite simply, heterosexual women like men who act like men, no in-between. The more masculine, caring and appreciative they are, the more attractive the men will be, especially if they are confident in themselves and their actions and know what they want. This element also includes the crucial requirement of having a sense of humour. If a man can make a women laugh without it being forced, he's on to a winner. Such confidence is often a big draw for women because the other attributes mentioned are also implied in this one. A confident person is perceived to bring value, protection, great looks, fun and laughter and, should there be chemistry, would make a great mate.

2. Being Valued and Wanted: Every woman wants to feel significant and desirable. When a woman is looking for a soulmate being valued for herself, and in her own right, is most important to her. To be wanted is one of the things women crave, to belong to a man without the competition of other women. Being valued has respect and appreciation at the heart of it and so any man who can make a woman feel respected and cared-for would seem very attractive and desirable.

3. Looks and Physicality: Forget about noble ideals like being attracted to what's 'inside' a person. That is an excuse for accepting second best. We cannot see what is 'inside' until we are drawn to someone on the outside. If the person stood absolutely still, never moved a muscle or said a word, how is a woman to discover that man's personality and inner attributes? Except through the gateway of physical attraction. If she is drawn to what she SEES, she would be more interested in finding out what is hidden. So physicality is paramount. How he looks, moves, laughs and speaks, and, above all, the pull of his face; also whether he is slim or fat, short or tall - all those are important for any woman to find a man appealing.

4. Security and Protection: A few years ago before women gained more independence, this part of attraction would have been the top or second aspect. Men used to be the main breadwinner and were valued for that. These days, many women take a lot of pride in providing their own security and do not feel they need any kind of protection. However, they still find men who can make them feel secure and protected very attractive indeed. Security is often in the form of money, career, power or self-sufficiency, while protection comes in taking charge, being masterful or being willing to share domestic issues equally. When a woman feels secure and protected, the man is half-way to winning her heart, though this aspect is likely to be more emotional than physical.

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