by S.S. McDaniel

Created on: August 02, 2009

A person who goes out of their way to be nice, who will bend over backwards to be liked, will finish last. These people are not necessarily nice, but rather seeking some sort of approval or confirmation of their existence through others. A truly nice person, however, is capable of being firm without being nasty. This trait is invaluable in life and can put them far ahead of the competition.

How tempting is it for us to gloat when we have had a personal or professional victory? We get the promotion and promptly go to the phone to tell our spouse, but not so softly that the other workers can't hear. We want to show off, and maybe rub it in someone's face a little. An average person will do this: comment to the person that they were competing with that it's just "too darn bad" with a little smirk. A truly nice person, however, will probably say something more along the lines of "I'm sure they'll recognize you soon."

Now, imagine this scenario: as it turns out, the competitor for the position the person got was actually denied that position because they were being groomed for a higher one. A year or two later, the competitor is in charge of the person. Who is going to fare better under this new regime: the smirker, or the person who remained polite?

On a personal level, truly nice people tend to have a wider and sturdier support group. Friends remain friends longer when they sense that your actions come from a sincere desire to help and please them, rather than a desire to create a basis for future favors. Spouses, children, family and friends all appreciate kindness without an ulterior motive. Offering to help a friend move only so that they will help you move the next week is considerably less "nice" than helping a friend move because they need help moving. Fixing your spouse dinner because they are tired is much better for the relationship than fixing them dinner so they will have sex with you.

While a truly nice person may never make it over the finish line before everyone else they are unlikely to finish last. Their politeness, friendliness, and willingness to work with others assures that they will always have supporters in their jobs and in life. And, at the end of the day, the truly nice person will also have peace of mind.

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