by Nadia Ghanny

Created on: August 02, 2009   Last Updated: August 05, 2009

This article was prompted by a real life occurrence involving a 14 year old and the decision her mother made for her to wear artificial nails for her grade eight graduation. I was determined to explore this decision in more depth by interviewing parents and a former young teen that all had direct experience with this subject. In this writer's opinion, I do not sanction the decision the mother made and thus on the side of those who expressed "no." Therefore, I would not permit my teenager to wear artificial nails."

This decision for me is "black and white" with no gray areas. At age 14 one is still growing into adulthood and is by no means officially an adult. This is the problem most of what we continue to experience in society today revolving around issues with teenagers. More parents are making it difficult for their children by giving in to their wants. By doing so they create more obstacles for their children than they realize.

A personal recollection of being a teenager was in most ways one of the best times of my young adult life. Notwithstanding that I enjoyed my teens it was also awkward and painful in many ways. One of those painful moments I endured was being grounded or not being permitted to have the things I wanted. One such forbidden thing was wearing jewellery and makeup to high school even though I was becoming a senior. "God," those were the good old days.

My parents had a philosophy, at each stage of my young adult life I was permitted to do something. We would have a round table meeting and discuss what I would be permitted to do or wear as my birthday approached. For example, at 14, I was permitted to have a specific hair style of my choice (long or short that's it); at age 16 I was allowed to wear some jewellery; at age 17, I was allowed to wear make up (subtle); and age 18, I was allowed to color my hair. I clearly understood my parents and their expectations and not once was I ever disrespectful to them. I was focused, responsible and took accountability for my behavior. Though there were times I would as my mom says, "pout" but I guess hormones had to play a role sometime.

It has often been cited that parents tend to provide and give to their children a bit more than what they had as children growing up. In doing so parents can in fact do more harm than good and with such good intentions arise negative outcomes. Such negative outcomes can be in the form of rebellious behavior, pushing the limits what they are permitted to do

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