by Ed Barkum

Created on: August 01, 2009   Last Updated: August 02, 2009

How To Build A Healthy Marriage

Building a healthy marriage should start long before any "I do" is uttered, as healthy marriages are greatly dependent on the motivation of the couples involved, and their reasons for wanting to get married.

Normally when we hear that "Jane and Bob are getting married" we are conditioned to automatically assume that these two must really love each other, because now they are ready to commit to a lifetime together. However, a fifty percent divorce rate would tell us that this isn't always the case. It is my belief that America's divorce rate can often be tied to a couple's reasons for wanting to get married in the first place.

Before getting into the discussion on how to build a healthy marriage, it might be worthwhile to review some of the ill-advised reasons that too many people become involved in unhealthy unions that have little chance of survival.

Self-induced Pressure

I don't know what it is that causes many young women to panic when the ripe old age of 30 is fast approaching and they find themselves still unmarried. A marriage based on someone's idea that you absolutely must be married by a certain age is flirting with disaster and cannot be very healthy, without a ton of luck.

Pregnancy

Over the years I've seen far too many marriages doomed to failure simply because the woman became pregnant and had to get married. If you feel your unborn baby needs his/her daddy's name, it might be a good idea to make sure the baby's daddy has more to offer than just his last name.

Security

Getting married just because he has a nice job, fine car, and a big house should raise huge flags for the guy who owns the nice job, fine car, and big house.

These are just a few of the many unjustified reasons leading young people today to the alter, and is largely responsible for the dismal divorce rate in this country. In these situations, the concern for how healthy the marriage will be is not a top priority, and if the concern is low, then the chances of building a healthy marriage will also be low.

As mentioned above, a healthy marriage really begins during the courtship period, before the wedding invitations, prior to picking the location, and long before the debate over the number of guests. It is not a complicated endeavor, but it is something that requires work, and some very basic elements, supported by a set of strong marital principles.

First and foremost the obvious elements of love, devotion, and

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