by Brandi Fleeks

Created on: August 01, 2009

Over the course if our lives we all at some point make bad decisions. We fall into bad behaviors and habits that are hard to break, and we do things we are not proud of. We all make mistakes.

But how long will we have to suffer the repercussions of those decisions, those behaviors and habits, those mistakes?

Sometimes only a day or two, sometimes months, years and even, unfortunately, a lifetime.

In my 28 years of life I've borne witness to most of ramifications of poor choices. As a mature person I accept responsibility for those choices, but still find it appalling that some things, that are out of my control, or things that I was not educated about until I made the decisions, won't be understood by those who have control over what I am allowed to do and ultimately, have control over my future.

I am mature enough to recognize that I have made some poor choices in my life. I was kicked out of a university because of my choice not to go to class. I chose to stay out late and engage in activities that studious college students wouldn't. I stopped by the credit card stands on campus the first day of classes and applied for them. I made the wrong friends and decided to hang out with them instead of studying for tests and writing essays.

I got into debt, rather unwittingly. I had loans, and those credit card bills didn't pay themselves. Without a job, it just wasn't possible to pay those debts. When I finally did get my first job, it wasn't nearly enough to pay the collection companies what they were asking for, and at the time, making payment arrangements wasn't something they wanted to do. The dept kept rising with interest rates and my credit ranking kept falling.

Not having health insurance, I had to use the emergency room as a primary care provider and we all know how affordable hospital bills are. Not having the ability to pay for an hour-long ER visit impacts credit too. The accounts went to collections and there is another, multi-thousand dollar dept I have.

I am not a bad person. I've never been arrested, I've never committed a crime and yet I'm seen as a criminal because I can't afford to pay the exorbitant costs that interest rates and hospital bills amount to.

Now, I am trying to return to school and finish my bachelor degree but it would seem that I can't even do that. I have been accepted to my first choice university and I may not be able to attend. I have to move 600 miles away I can't rent an apartment because my credit score is lower than 95 percent of the population. Financial aid is a possibility but I have to wait until a defaulted school loan is cleared of default.

In order to obtain a job that is capable of paying me enough to make three times the amount of rent, and begin paying off all my debt I have to get a bachelor's degree. In order to get a bachelor I have to pay off all my debts, and have the ability to get a loan. If that isn't a catch 22 I don't know what is.

So how long will I have to suffer the repercussions of my bad decisions? I'm still suffering them, and from where I'm standing, the suffering won't stop any time soon.

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