by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: August 01, 2009   Last Updated: May 13, 2012

No one enters a marriage with the intent to dissolve it at the first sign of trouble, but there are instances when not even love can save it. There are a number of infractions that cut so deeply and create such pain that some cannot overcome or forgive the offending party. Below are some of the negative characteristics you will find in some marriages that, if left unchecked, may become irreversible.

* Infidelity
* Lack of respect
* Physical or mental abuse
* Sexual incompatibility
* Lack of growth

INFIDELITY

Cheating is hard to overcome and it takes love, commitment, and a forgiving nature to start anew. When I was a youngster, there were women in my family who would say "if he cheats on you once, he will do it again." They believed it and one or two summarily got divorced upon discovering their spouses had strayed; they did not believe in second chances.

As an adult, I do not know whether I would be as hasty if I were ever in that situation. Everyone deserves a second chance, even cheaters if, after careful consideration, it is warranted. However, if you have a spouse who thinks it is his or her right to stray at will, call it quits. If you continue to stay in that type of marriage, eventually your self-confidence and opinion of yourself will be reduced to zero.

LACK OF RESPECT

When your spouse does not respect you, it means you are not valued or esteemed, you deserve better than that and more. Do not stay in a marriage where you are denigrated and put down. Spouses should endeavor always to build up one another at every opportunity.

Respecting you also means he or she will not allow relatives to take pot shots at you. If a relative has the effrontery to malign you in some egregious manner, you deserve your spouse's support to either diffuse the situation or set parameters about what is acceptable. You should not have to fight with in-laws and if the encounters continue, you might want to call it quits. Life is too short for such abuse and chances are things will only worsen.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE

When you are abused you have every reason to call it quits. I can think of no instance where abuse is justifiable. If you allow yourself to be victimized, you will find that your perception of yourself will change. Many who are in abusive relationships eventually accept their abuser's perception of them, which is always negative. Regain yourself and call it quits.

SEXUAL INCOMPATIBILITY

No matter how you cut it, sex is very important in a marriage. Sexual incompatibility

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