by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: July 31, 2009

From the beginning of time, when the peddlers strolled through town after town peddling their wares, women have been going out to see what the current offerings were. It seems that they have also been handing over the money to take the goods home and call them their own. I will admit readily that I am one of these women, drawn to the shiny new objects that I see for sale and have even over-spent a time or two. Of course, it was never my intent. I called it "retail therapy" along with many other women.

What I didn't realize was that my husband didn't see the good that I was doing with all of my purchases. He saw one thing only and that was the money in our checking account dwindling away. He knew long before I did that there was a problem, but he wasn't quite sure what to do about it. He didn't want to spoil my fun and he didn't want to feel like he wasn't being a good enough provider, but when the economy began to get a bit tougher for us, he knew that it was time to put some kind of regulation on my spending, whether he wanted to or not.

The first step that he took was to talk with me openly about the situation. He had always held the reins to the money, so he was really the only one who knew what we had to work with. I hadn't meant any harm with my spending. I just didn't realize that it was causing undue stress on him and taking too much away from the family budget. When he talked to me about it, I was shocked! Open communication was the first step. He wasn't unkind or accusatory at all, so I was better able and more willing to hear him out.

From that point, we made some changes in the way that the bills and budget were taken care of. Today, we sit down together and look at what is coming in and what is going out once per month. This helps me because I know when there is and is not excess money in the account that I can feel a bit freer to shop with.

This is how I would suggest that any husband put the brakes on his wife's spending habits. Almost every woman will want to please the man that she loves and would never want to bring harm or stress to her family's financial state. Treat her kindly and with respect, giving her the opportunity to listen with open ears and hear you out. Chances are good that the change you are looking for will come willingly.

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