by Matt Mcmillan

Created on: July 31, 2009

And there you were. Just a bundled up little man. And before I knew it you had developed a personality, an identity, a smile all your own. Oh, what a smile. You had a smile that could warm my very soul on the coldest of days. I have had some cold days, Seamus. I have created some of the coldest days a man can create for himself. And it is important that you not create your own cold days.

Sure, you'll be subject to all kinds of strife, all kinds of suffering, all kinds of hardship and pain. Much of it will be created by your own hand for that is what men do: they create gigantic messes, huge, cataclysmic messes of Biblical proportion. Even the small messes we make we manage to blow up into really big deals. But that's not the point. The point is that just by the virtue of your gender, just by the very make-up of your genetic material, you will create a series of problems you will spend much of your life dealing with. I guess that's just the way it goes.

But right now, right this moment, this snapshot in time, you are this sweet bundle. This sweet, cuddly little man. You smiled so early, so often. You were so calm. The big joke was who could you possibly be related to? Or, you must take after your mother. . . .

Your mother. Your mother is the kind of woman you will need to find. No, don't find her exact image; that's too weird in a total Oedipal-kinda way. What I mean is that you need to find a woman with the strength, the intelligence, the charm, the grace that your mother has. I take it all back. That will never happen. If you spend your life looking for this type of woman, this type of person, you'll never find her. She will find you. She will choose you. And that's why I know I am the luckiest, most fortunate man alive, for your mother found me, she chose me. But I digress . . . .

I have a son. I was so proud. I had my own little boy. We were the perfect family now. A little girl and a little boy. Just perfect. You were so good natured those first days, those first weeks. And the weeks stretched on and turned into months and then a year passed and then a second year. And I fear I have missed so much. I fear I have been blind to so much.

I love your sweet little voice and your quick grin. I love the way you run to me and hug me around the legs. I love the way you crinkle up your nose and, for awhile anyway, didn't use any "s's" at the beginning of words so things were 'tinky or 'tuck. That's the good stuff. I love the way you punt any ball, albeit not in the house. I love the way you 'nuggle, and I wish we'd 'nuggle more.

I am so glad you are here, so glad you were a gift to us, so glad we could be a part of your life. I look forward to all of our days together, but let's remember the days we have right now. Let's enjoy the hours we are together right now. Let's enjoy the minutes, the moments. Let's just enjoy now.

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