by Noka West

Created on: July 31, 2009   Last Updated: August 01, 2009

Does divorce mediation work?

Does divorce mediation work? Understanding the thought process of mediation. It can work, but you have to be open-minded when you walk in the door. You cannot have the angry face on and not willing to bend. In a lot of cases, divorce mediation does not work because of underlying circumstances, that may have not been addressed and will not be addressed while going through mediation. (The things that go on behind closed doors, that are often not discussed.)

Only if the parties can be truthfully honest with each other, in knowing what is in the best interest for them both. The best interest at hand, especially, if there are children involved. This is not going to be an easy situation to go through as it is. Yet, we must first put our best interest for the children involved, first and foremost.

If you are a couple willing to be civil and understanding what you are doing is best for all concerned, your mediation should go smooth. Reminding you, you have to give a little to get a little. Meeting each other halfway during a mediation will always work out better than if you want to walk out of there with everything. Yes, mediation can take a short amount of time, if you walk in knowing what you want to agree to. If you are not on true communicating terms, this could be drug out for days, weeks or even months. This all depends on each individual circumstances and the willingness to come to an agreement.

Mediators are there as a unbiased party, trying to help you come to an agreement. They, do know the laws and should be able to answer all your questions. If the mediation process does not go well; an agreement cannot be reached. The mediator can refer this matter back to the judge to set a hearing. Once again, you could wait for a period of months before getting in front of the judge to have your case heard.

Knowing that mediators cannot force you to agree to anything, it is up to the individuals involved in mediation to want to come to an agreement early on. If you can do that on a peaceful level, you are already one step ahead. Knowing this could be easier said than done, sit down ahead of time before the mediation and write down what you want to see accomplished. This also makes things easier; making sure to go over your list not to forget things that need to be mentioned. Being prepared for mediation is another vital step to make things go smooth. There may be things that were brought up that you did not even think of. Take your own notepad, pen and paper to take needed notes.

Once you have reached your mediation agreement. Both, you and your spouse will have to initial on every page of the agreement before it is typed up and sent to the judge for their final approval, becoming a court order. Making sure not to leave out anything that needs to be addressed during this mediation process. Mediation can work, if the individuals are willing to compromise. If you are not willing to compromise, it could be drawn out for several months waiting on a hearing before the judge.

If you have any questions, you can always contact your local court house to get some information. They can direct you in the right direction. Noting, there are several attorneys out there that will allow a free consult, if you feel you must. A one time visit, usually with a time limit. Can mediation be beneficial, that is up to the individuals willingness to reach an agreement.

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