by Gauri Trivedi

Created on: July 30, 2009

Your heart aches to wipe those tears away. You want to erase all their pain and make things all right. You want to protect them against any setback that comes their way. Children make us wish we were God with enough power to stop failures from touching them. It is indeed a parent's true test when the child suffers.

Some setbacks are life altering. Loss of a loved one, academic disaster, career failure, broken marriage are a few of the many possible failures your children can suffer in their life. It becomes difficult as a parent for you to see your child going through hell and deal with obstacles, the effects of which stay for a long time. And that is when you ask yourself what can I do to it make it better?

Remember how you taught your kids to ride a bicycle. They would fall, get hurt, cry and give up. You got them on their feet, nursed their wounds, whispered encouraging words and made them try again. Soon enough, they zoomed past you. This is what you have to do again. Only this time the fall is a failure.

Love them, be there

For a child, whatever age they are, to have the assurance that you are there for them is a huge security. Do not start judging your child just when a setback has hit. There will be time later for advice and analysis, for now, just be there. Tell your child how much you love him/her and that you will always be there no matter what.

Accept their failure

Denial is the first hindrance to healing. Parents are hit hard by their children's failures. Most of them don't even want to accept that their child has failed. Living in denial doesn't do any good. It probably makes it worse for the children because not only have they to deal with their own setback but also worry about how they have let you down. You can help by not putting your children through that torture. If you want your children to bounce back in life, accept their limitations and teach them how to digest failure.

Open their eyes

Is somebody else to be blamed for our failure? Did the setback occur suddenly or could it have been avoided? If your children are unwilling to seek answers like these, as parents you must open their eyes and make them see the truth. A setback in their life can be a test of your bond with your children because to help them you may have to be the bad guy. Children are never too old for your guidance. When they lose focus in times of frustration, be the firm voice that can lead them to a solution and out of their current stage in life.

Give them

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