by Sally Morem

Created on: July 30, 2009   Last Updated: August 01, 2009

You don't remember these things. Test yourself. Are you as old as dirt? You are if you can remember when-

Girls had ugly gym uniforms.

Being picked last for your phy-ed team was a real embarrassment.

Girls were not allowed to wear pants and boys were not allowed to wear jeans to school.

Nearly everyone's mom was home when the kids returned from school.

It took five minutes for the TV to warm up and almost all the shows were in black and white.

No one owned a purebred dog and almost everyone let their dogs run loose.

You got a quarter for your weekly allowance.

The tooth fairy paid a dime per tooth.

You'd gladly reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

Your mom wore nylons in two separate pieces held up by a garter belt.

All your male teachers wore suits and ties and all your female teachers had their hair done up and wore high heels to school.

You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped by the station attendant without having to ask. And the service was free.

Gas cost 35 cents per gallon.

When you paid for your groceries, the store gave you trading stamps.

Laundry detergent had free drinking glasses, dishes, or towels hidden inside.

You'd get dressed up in your good clothes when you went out with your parents to a restaurant.

Your school threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. And it did.

A 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car.

No one asked where the keys were. They were in the car. In the ignition.

You lay back on the grass with your friends, looked at the clouds, and said this one looks like a horsy and that one looks like a bunny rabbit.

Spinning around in circles, getting dizzy, falling down, was fun.

Pills and bottled food didn't come with safety caps.

Going to the principal's office for being naughty wasn't as scary as going home that afternoon.

A foot of snow early school morning was a dream come true.

You ate dry Kool-Aid with sugar. And you enjoyed it.

You ate 15-cent McDonald's burgers.

You went to the A & W root beer stand to get root beer with your parents. That was a real family outing.

You bought 5-cent packs of baseball cards filled with five cards and a stick of gum.

You enjoyed the bubblegum scent on your baseball cards for months.

Sticking baseball cards or playing cards to spokes with clothespins turned your bike into a motorcycle.

You played "eenie-meenie-minie-moe."

"Oly Oly Oxen Free" made perfect sense.

"I double-dog dare ya." was a serious challenge.

Taking drugs meant chewing orange-flavored children's aspirin.

"Race issues" meant arguing over who could run the fastest.

"The Cold War" meant a snowball fight.

"War" was a card game.

Having a weapon at school meant being caught with a slingshot.

Kids received toy guns for birthday and Christmas presents and no one thought anything of it.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

I remember all of these things. So, of course, that makes me as old as dirt.Boo

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