by Carolyn Tytler

Created on: July 30, 2009   Last Updated: August 01, 2009

Committing suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness. The person who takes his own life is so focused on his own misery, his own despair and hopelessness, that these emotions take supremacy over all the other factors in his life.

His despondency will come before his religious convictions (if he has any), before his love of family and friends, and before his duty to others, to his community, and before any consideration of the future.

Most religions recognize God as Creator. He brought the universe, the earth, and all it contains into existence. Humanity is His greatest accomplishment. The Bible teaches that each human is made in God's image and likeness. As such, each of us has inherent worth and great dignity. We are in effect, children of God.

Anyone with a religious background will be aware that to willingly and knowingly destroy a human being, including oneself, who has such value in God's sight, is committing a seriously wrong act.

Not one of us were able to will ourselves into existence. By the same token, it is not our right to decide when that existence shall end. The right to decide these matters is reserved for God, or a Higher Power or however we choose to address Him. We usurp that right at our peril.

The person contemplating suicide does not consider the effect his act on his loved ones or friends. His legacy to them is frustration, questions, guilt, and regrets over unfinished business.

Typical feelings, some expressed, some unspoken follow any suicide.

* "If only he'd confided in me, if only we could have talked it over...! I thought we were better friends!"

* " Why did he do this? Was it my fault? Were his parents abusive? Did her husband beat her?"

* " I never should have said or done that. Was it because I forgot his birthday? Did I not do enough to show I cared? "

* "Now we'll never make the trip we planned. Dad won't be at my wedding. Christmas without her will never be the same. How can I go on?"

The person considering suicide doesn't dwell on others. He wallows in his own feelings of misery.

What about the community he fails to consider: the elections when his vote might be decisive, the volunteer activities crying for dedicated workers, the sick waiting for blood donors, the lonely and the homeless to whose unhappy lives he is capable of making a significant contribution? They too, are far from his thoughts.

By choosing to end his life, he is robbing the future. There will be family gatherings for birthdays, anniversaries and holidays when his presence will be missed, family stories that only he can relate for future generations, acts of kindness that only he could have accomplished, individuals with problems to whom he could have pointed out solutions. If only he had lived...

What could have been done? A great deal, if those around him, or the individual himself had recognized the symptoms early enough. Those contemplating suicide are suffering from a form of mental illness known as depression. It is a treatable illness, but help must be sought, and the sooner the better.

Be alert, stay aware. In today's enlightened society most people are aware of the existence of depression, but for some reason, they often fail to recognize it those nearest and dearest to them, or in themselves. It can strike anyone at any age.

The most important gift you will ever give to anyone is to take them to a doctor when they show symptoms of unrelenting sadness, or disinterest in life over an extended period of time. But, don't wait too long to get them medical help. You may not get a second chance.

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