by Liz Sinclair

Created on: July 30, 2009   Last Updated: August 12, 2009

Breast cancer is one of the most devastating things that can happen to a woman, but it will also impact those around her. Partners, family and friends may suffer a range of stressful emotions, as well as a sense of powerlessness, and anxiety about the future. They often have a strong need for information about breast cancer, treatments and outcomes, to regain a sense of control.

So how can partners, family and friends support a woman with breast cancer and also meet their own needs? Here are suggestions from cancer care experts.

If you're a partner or family member, find a support group for partners and family of breast cancer patients. Or consider having counseling alone; this can help if you're feeling uneasy about opening up about deep feelings. Remember that everyone around a woman with breast cancer may have to make personal adjustments.

If you're a partner, keep a journal. This can give a sense of control and perspective on the entire medical process, as well as being a place to record your emotions. Write down dates of doctor visits, options for treatment, procedures performed and items to follow up. Participate in the medical process as much as possible, including monitoring the patient's status, asking questions and becoming knowledge about breast cancer, and stay pro-active throughout treatment. Make time to spend with a patient, take them to medical appointments and be at the hospital as much as possible. (This can also be done by friends of a patient who has little or no family support.)

If you're a partner or family member, coordinate a social support network of family and friends to offer support to the patient both while in hospital and back home. After surgery or while undergoing treatment, a patient will need to conserve her energy. Screen people who visit, and act as a mediator between the patient and her friends and family.

For partners, keep physical and sexual intimacy important. Discuss with health care providers ways to deal with changes in a patient's sex drive or any sexual issues that arise.

Encourage the patient to seek out support groups, do simple tasks and start or maintain an appropriate exercise routine.

At least initially, try not to show your own fears. Rosalind Kleban, a social worker and member of Breastcancer.org's professional advisory board, says, "At the very beginning, the patient's own fear is too intense and she needs to feel that she has strong people to lean on."

Use clear and open communication with the patient. Be open

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