by Belinda Long

Created on: July 29, 2009

Cheating often means different things to different people. Most define cheating as having sexual relations with someone not your significant other. Misplaced body parts are not the only way to cheat on someone.

Cheating, in the dictionary, is defined in part as deprivation of something expected or a person who acts dishonestly, deceives or defrauds. Therefore, you can cheat on a loved one both physically and emotionally. Cheating isn't always intentional. A person can cheat on their spouse or lover and not realize it. So, how do you know if you can define your behavior or your spouses as cheating?

If your friendship with a co-worker, or any other person outside of your marriage becomes intimate in nature. If people often mistake you and your friend as lovers. If your significant other expresses concerns about your friendship with this person. If you often skip out on activities with your significant other to do something with this friend. Yes, it can be considered cheating. You are depriving your significant other of the intimacy you promised that person, by becoming emotionally intimate with someone else.

Cheating can also take place if you allow your job, your children or other obligations to make you unavailable to your spouse on a frequent basis. If you are not available to see to your spouses needs, physically and/or emotionally, in ways he or she has come to expect from you, you are cheating.

Naturally sex with someone outside of your relationship can be considered cheating as well. Any kind of sex with another is cheating. Oral sex is cheating. Kissing is cheating. Touching intimate parts of a body not your spouses, is cheating. There are no loopholes. If you are sexually intimate with someone other than your spouse, you are cheating.

Surely, many of us get caught up in outside issues and become unavailable to our spouse at different times in our lives. It's normal when life makes it hard for two people to take care of each other. Certainly, taking care of a sick child for a week, and being therefore unable to spend much time with your significant other, isn't cheating. If you throw yourself into your children however, in an effort to avoid your spouse, it can be considered cheating.

When you decide to spend your life with a person, you are obligated to do your best to meet that persons need and vice versa. As the dictionary says cheating is deprivation of something expected, if you are failing to hold up your end of the marriage, you're cheating. Your significant other has a right to get his or her emotional and physical needs met, as do you. And you both have an obligation to each other to attempt to do so.

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