by Melvin Palmer

Created on: July 29, 2009

Liza Minnelli once said, 'Life isn't easy, get help. I don't know much about her, but truer words have never been spoken. Building a healthy marriage and preserving one is easy. The satisfaction of knowing and sharing life with someone who is your best friend is blissful. A marriage shares many skills built into any thriving friendship. Communication, having fun, and doing things for your mate helps build and maintain a healthy marriage.

Leo Bascallia taught a class titled 'Love' at the University of Southern California. After a few years of student surveys he decided that communication was the most important ingredient of love. All things come through communication. It is how we express self and understand others.

When a problem occurs wait for the emotion to settle down. Talking about a problem when emotions are high is not productive. Give the situation a few days to settle down, and then talk.

When talking to your mate use I statements. 'I would like to invite you, I think that I need a nap, I am not happy with this situation', are all good starters. Leave out words like you, unless you are giving a compliment to the other person. Don't blame the other, talk about the situation.

Let go of the outcome to the problem situation. Generate as many solutions as you can and think about them if you can't agree. In a few days briefly return to the problem and choose a resolution.

Listening to your significant other is more important than speaking. Dr. Phil claims that most of what we say is non-verbal. Watching the other is very important in what they are trying to say to you. The night before your spouse agrees to play tennis at 8 a.m. Your mate doesn't get up. It is time for you to get your tennis gear and hit against a backboard.

A most important part of a healthy marriage is having fun. Do the things that brought you together in the past, find new things that you both like to do, if kids come have fun with them, find a babysitter and have fun with out the kids. Having fun is what life is about, especially when we work so hard.

Do things for your mate. Guys feel close to their woman when we do things together and have good sex. Lovemaking is a top priority for many men. Women love coffee in bed, gifts and genuine compliments on how you find them beautiful.

Having a healthy marriage takes more effort than getting married, and it is worth it. Having a friend to share things with and support you in your endeavors, creates a lasting love. Keeping a marriage vital requires good communication and listening skills. Mix that up with fun activities and knowing what your mate wants, will help create a marriage that is in tiptop shape.

Learn more about this author, Melvin Palmer.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.