by Jane Hendry

Created on: July 29, 2009   Last Updated: July 30, 2009

Overcoming conflict between parent and adolescent.

As adolescents develop, they start to desire a certain amount of autonomy. They also begin to question their parents' morals, beliefs, and ideals, and they develop a set of priorities very different to that of their parents. Conflict between adolescents and their parents can be caused by a number of factors relating to these changes.

One reason conflict arises is when an adolescent believes they are ready to accept more responsibility and to make some important decisions on their own, and yet their parents are not ready to relinquish control.

Also, as they strive to establish their identity, they may go through phases as they try out different identity components. Many parents are quick to judge their adolescents, which leads to them feeling un-heard and rejected. This can cause some adolescents to become rebellious.

The parents' attitude to their own life situations can also be cause for conflict with their adolescent children. Some adults are disillusioned by their own careers and relationships, which can lead to them trying to live their lives through their children, or trying to lead them into careers or relationships that do not suit the individual that the adolescent is becoming.

In order to maintain a healthy relationship between parents and their adolescent children, it is necessary for the parents to encourage open communication. In order to achieve this, the parents must show a genuine interest in the adolescent and their school and social life.

Parents must be understanding and learn to accept that their adolescent child may feel differently from themselves, and want different things out of life. It is important to show acceptance and approval of adolescent children, even if their choices are disappointing to the parent. If there is open communication different points of view can be shared.

Trust is of great importance to an adolescent and, while there is an element of earning that trust, it is necessary for a parent to show that they trust their child to make the right decisions and do the right thing.

Providing a happy home where there is both discipline and guidance, giving the adolescent boundaries in which to develop, is also very important in overcoming conflict with parents. If adolescents know what is expected of them, and have leeway in which to express themselves and make decisions, they are less likely to become rebellious or sullen and aggressive.

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