by S.S. McDaniel

Created on: July 29, 2009

Wedding vendors are often in the same position as your guests: you invite them to a function that occurs, most likely, over top of dinner or lunch time. They'll try to eat something before they come (but not too much, or they might get sleepy), but with all that food wafting in front of their face, who can blame them for getting a little hungry?

As someone who has worked in the wedding industry, I have to say that it is just polite. Certain vendors usually expect to be fed: videographers, photographers, DJ, priests, officiants, and wedding coordinators. Others do not: waiters, chefs, bartenders, and the people who set up and take down your decorations.

While you pay the vendor, does it really hurt you to provide a little dish for them? (Some reception venues will even fix a different, less expensive meal for your videographers, DJ, etc if asked) How would you feel if there was a function at your place of work where everyone could eat but you? Most vendors expect, especially at buffet receptions, to be able to get themselves a small plate of food as long as it doesn't interfere with the job you hired them to do.

Granted, there is another side to this: vendors, especially those new to the field, often feel very uncomfortable eating at their employers' weddings. In a way, vendors are almost part of your wedding, but in another way they are definitely outsiders. If you want to earn the eternal gratitude (and possibly future discounts) of a new vendor, take just a moment out of your reception to duck over to them and tell them it is alright to fix themselves a plate.

Keep in mind: some of your guests may not be aware that your vendor is a vendor, especially in the case of videographers and photographers (who usually dress nicely, but not in a uniform) that are temporarily unaccompanied by their cameras. This may not seem like a problem, but often people ask them repeatedly to sit down and eat. The vendor is stuck in a tough spot: sit down and eat, possibly offending the bride and groom, or come across as rude to the guest. In one instance when I first began working as a videographer, I was continually badgered by the mother of the bride to sit down and eat (even though she knew I was a vendor), only to receive a poor review from the bride at a later date.

Please, above all, be clear about whether or not you are feeding your vendors.

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