by Avril Defleurey

Created on: July 29, 2009

Self-government, sovereignty, autonomy, self-rule, self-determination, freedom, emancipation, all these words are associated with the word independence. Unaccompanied, by yourself, on your own, single-handedly, unaided, without help, only, and no-one else, all these words are associated with the word alone. None of the words associated with independence are alike in meaning to those associated with alone, therefore independence does not mean being alone.

Nevertheless, what does it mean?

It means that you make all the important as well as the not so important decisions in your life, it means staying in control of your own destiny. Sovereignty means that you are responsible for your own set of beliefs and for living them, and in return, you can expect your spouse, family or friends to respect your wishes and accept you as an individual. Being autonomous is being self-sufficient and dependant on your own resources, or, not being dependant on another for your well-being. Self-determination means you have free will, with freedom of speech and thought. Knowing that you can think as an individual, therefore you have the entitlement to be treated as such, is emancipation.

Moreover, you can still be independent as well as a welcome and loved family member, as well as part of a loving relationship, and as an important member within a circle of friends. With independence comes esteem and confidence, since your place within your family, with your partner, or within the community is because you are independent of them. In other words - you are not there because you have nowhere else to go or no one else to turn to. You are confident and know your own mind; furthermore, you are both respected, and accepted for doing so.Liberty and freedom stand for unrestrained, which means you do something, or you go somewhere because you want to, not because you have to. You stay somewhere because you choose to, not because some one else chooses you too, or because you have no option.

Seclusion and being alone does not mean independence, it means devoid of, or without company, a solitary existence, whereby the single-handed life is not through preference but circumstance. It is quite different to autonomy, as loneliness can mean isolation and segregation. Being lonely can have the opposite effect as independence, where independence can bring self-confidence and admiration, loneliness can lead to timidity, insecurity and depression. When someone is lonely or depressed, they are more likely to accept the company of an unsavoury person or attract inappropriate attention. Whereas a confident, independent person has more choice, over whom they desire as a friend or partner.

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