by Jan Castagnaro

Created on: July 28, 2009   Last Updated: November 11, 2009

How to Decide When to Have Your Second Child

Having a baby is a rewarding experience that unleashes a rollercoaster of emotions. It is definitely one of life's experiences that should never be entered into lightly or blindly, because as rewarding as it will be, it is also a major responsibility. As much as having a baby is a right, it is also a privilege that involves personal sacrifice and willingness to be the best parent possible. In the best of situations, the decision to have a second child should be based on several different factors, with the most important factors being relationship stability, finances, and age spacing.

When considering having a second child, it is very important to take a good hard look at the stability of the relationship that will be moving forward and creating a life. This does not necessarily mean that the couple should be married, but the relationship should be strong enough that it could be likened to a marriage without the legal documents. Sure, it would be nice if every couple wished to wait and bind the relationship legally through marriage, but marriage is not a guarantee for stability either. Before moving forward with baby number two, the couple needs to look at how they handled baby number one. Did all the initial care fall on one parent over the other, and is it still that way? Did the relationship become a bit fractured with the birth of the first child, and were those fractures mended or left to continue cracking? Are there other negative issues in the relationship that cause the home environment to be unstable?

Too often, couples embark on a second child in an effort to fix a marriage or relationship which is already broken and falling apart. Sometimes, the thought of having a second child is one that is considered because of insecurity and an unrealistic idea that a new baby will some how make a man stay with you. There are even some women and young girls that have poor self-esteems and have convinced themselves that having babies will give them someone to love and visa versa, regardless of the situations their lives are in. While still, there are some men that wish to keep their wives or girlfriends in the constant state of pregnancy as a way to keep them stuck in a bad situation, fearful to leave. So definitely, it is extremely important to take a hard look at the circumstances that revolve around the relationship that is considering making a baby. Relationship stability is the best condition to bring a baby into.

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