by D.A. Marshall

Created on: July 28, 2009

Every October it was the same thing. My husband would wait until the last minute to tell me he needed a costume for the office competition. The reminder usually came at almost midnight the night before our daughter's school party, while I was furiously sewing her costume. "Oh, by the way, I need to dress up tomorrow. Got any ideas?" I remember looking up from the suede Pocahontas moccasins I was hand-beading and glaring at him. Being the self-sacrificing wife and mother I was, I would manage to come up with something by 7:30am the next morning.

One of the cheapest costume ideas I thought of was Wilson, from the tv show "Home Improvement". My husband had a dumb hat already, and some frumpy clothes, all he needed was a privacy fence. We fashioned a small section of "fence" from foam core board cut in strips and stapled together. He held it in front of his face like Wilson and made corny conversation all day. He won the competition that year.

Another good one came to me the first year the cartoon, Doug, was popular. Remember Quail Man? My husband put on a pair of jeans, topped them with a pair of tighty whities, wore a belt around his head, and took one of our towels and pinned it around his neck for a cape. Totally no-cost, and it got lots of laughs as well as first prize.

For the past several years, I've been shaving my husband's head. We got the idea one Halloween to whiten his face, put dark circles under his eyes, and I gave him a black robe to put on. He looked almost exactly like Uncle Fester from "The Addams Family".

Halloween wasn't always just about my husband and daughter. One of the best ideas we had for one another was to dress like a dead couple. We bought some old clothes from a thrift shop in town, brought them home, and began the task of making ourselves look as if we just crawled out of a grave. We dragged the clothing through the dirt in our yard, ran over them with our car a few times, and stuck some leaves on them. We took turns putting "skin" on each other to give the effect of skin dropping off our faces. I wore panty hose with holes ripped in them, and broke the heel off one of my shoes. Makeup and baby powder completed the look and we were ready to drive to the party. Our intent wasn't to be frightening or gory, we wanted to be silly ghouls, so we cracked jokes all evening.

It's been several years since we had the desire to wear a costume, so we torment our dog by dressing him up every year. We take him out and walk the neighborhood while the trick-or-treaters run up and down the sidewalks in the quest for candy. Bosco was a devil one year, but by the time we got home, he had chewed off what he could reach and left a trail of the bits and pieces of cloth behind us. I think that outfit cost us about fifteen bucks. Apparently, simple and cheap is best for the pets, as well.

Learn more about this author, D.A. Marshall.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.