by MiS11

Created on: July 28, 2009

Yes, complacency definitely compromises a marriage, no matter who are, as long as you are someone who lives in reality. Look at the typical American family. A man and woman start dating, they get engaged, then finally married. After marriage, if the couple is lucky, they both have good jobs; and let us assume, for the sake of argument, they both graduated college. Okay, now you have a young couple in their late twenties, who go to work during the week, purchased a home, and hang out with their friends on the weekends. What is next for this young couple? They have a child, just as we all do. Then, after having one child, the young couple decides to have another so the first does not grow up alone. Now, the young couple, both with full-time jobs, and now with two small children start to feel overwhelmed. What do they do?

The young couple do what the majority of parents do. They slip into a life routine of going to work, taking kids where they need to go, whether that be school, the sitter, or activities, and coming home to go to bed, without intimacy. When you look at the majority of married couples with children, this is the typical day. Not that it is a bad thing, but it does become boring and mind-numbing. And the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again every day.

So, the couple is not so young anymore and has two kids, ages eight and ten. After twelve years of marriage, working in the same jobs, living in the same neighborhood, and doing the same daily activities year after year; they get tired of it all. Not only is the daily life the same, but also the intimacy between the husband and wife. Let us remember the intimacy began as the two lovers were teenagers or in college, and was very exciting. Consequently, one or both spouses begins a relationship with another, if not just for the excitement. Is this not the result of complacency in the marriage? Of course it is! That is why when men or women cheat on the spouse, it is usually for the excitement of it all.

Therefore, how you can say complacency does not play a role in marriage problems? Of course it does and always will. The only way it will not is if the two spouses work together to make the marriage and family life non-complacent. This means treating every day and every moment as if it were something special, not getting stuck in a rut/routine, and remembering your partner as the person they were when you first met. Last, but not least, always remembering the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and for that reason, change is good!

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