by Jessica Syrjala

Created on: July 28, 2009   Last Updated: July 29, 2009

First off, I must begin by stating the obvious: Drugs should never be used intravenously as the dangers of infection, cysts, collapsed veins, Hepatitis and HIV can occur. However, most people that use or abuse drugs know this, but I am a firm believer that despite their knowledge, people are going to do it, regardless of the possible outcome.

I know first-hand what the dangers of drug abuse are, as I, myself have been into those pits of hell. I am still there. I am struggling to break free, but I have not been able to as of yet. Now I know that people who have never had the claws of addiction stuck into them, do not know what it is like.

How many times have I heard, "Just quit, you're better than that and you did this to yourself." I've heard it all and I've heard it loud. I wish it were that easy. I understand fully that I brought this on myself, but at the same time, I have maintained my values and I am not what you think of when you think heroin.

I work a full time job in which I support a family with three small children. I am a good mother and I keep a clean house. I never, ever miss work and I pay all of my bills. My cupboards and refrigerator are full, and I pick up every shift I can to make ends meet. I do not steal. I do not cheat. I do not lie. I certainly don't sell my body to support my habit when I am sick. Yet, the little fact remains, I have a secret. It's a secret that only those nearest and dearest to me know about. I am an addict.

Being a functional addict, as I like to call it, I know the dangers and I am more aware of the risks than you'll ever know. Yet, I am struggling. I traveled down a path of darkness that most people don't dare venture into. I am not a bad person. I am not trying to be a burden. I just don't know how to live in the realm of normality anymore.

Should the government fund needle exchange programs? Absolutely. People can and will abuse drugs, whether or not the big brother of government is there to watch over them. According to the CDC, approximately 12% of new HIV cases are brought on by needle-sharing. As somebody who has been there, I can say I understand. Have I ever shared a needle? Absolutely not. I find it disgusting.

Luckily, I've never been reduced to that. Yet, I know what it's like to be sick from the withdrawals from opiates. Let me tell you, I would not wish that on my worst enemy and I think Satan himself has taken over my body when I feel so terrible. Restless legs, insomnia, cold sweats, stomach cramps

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