by Samuel

Created on: July 27, 2009   Last Updated: July 29, 2009

Some say the best marriages are built on love, respect, trust, and understanding that came as a result of past hurts and mistakes that were forgiven.

As soon as couples learn the divine skill of forgiveness, their marriage is set for unimaginable greater heights and successes.

To forgive doesn't mean to overlook a wrong act, but to look into the wrong act or deed by separating the deed from the doer, because wrong acts are not always done by wrong people. Humans make mistakes sometimes

Always remember that holding on to a hurt affects your overall personality: mood, countenance, output, and even health. Forgiveness not only helps the person forgiven, it also helps you by healing you, and bringing back smiles to your face.

How do you forgive your spouse?

* Hear your spouse out

To forgive is more than just saying I have forgiven you. Your heart must be in it. And most times, we just can't make our hearts forgive until the right words are said to us. This only happens when we can take the pain to hear out our spouse irrespective of what wrong was done.

Statistics have shown that many times, because humans are imperfect, they do what they never planned or intended to do due to some certain circumstances beyond their immediate control at that point in time. When we take the pains to hear our spouse's explanation or reasons for acting wrongly, we soon begin to see reasons to forgive and even act like the wrong never happened. After all, we have made mistakes ourselves in the past.

When someone who did wrong is allowed to explain and apologize, you can quickly tell if they are sincere from their explanation and apologies. This is probably what begins the building block for forgiveness.

* Ask for help from a counselor

It is easier to forgive someone who admits a wrong and apologizes for it than someone who refuses. As far as marriage goes, forgiveness is necessary whether merited, asked for, or not.

If you are involved with a spouse that is yet to listen to you and see reasons why the actions are wrong, then you may need help from a counselor.

Counselor here must not be a professional counselor. A counselor can be your spouse's parents or an experienced elderly person your spouse respects and will listen to. For a successful marriage, spouses must listen to experienced people to learn not to place too much weight on irrelevant issues. And to also learn what is wrong and right in a marriage.

A good counselor can help your spouse see reasons why the actions were wrong, and then there will be an apology, and finally forgiveness will flow freely.

Forgiveness is like the best gift you can give to your spouse, and at the end, you discover you actually gave more to yourself.

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