by Samuel

Created on: July 27, 2009   Last Updated: July 30, 2009

Marriages experience different kinds of fights, but only a fair fight resolves the issue on ground and favor the marriage in the long run.

Fighting fairly in a marriage can be termed a good fight, and there are basically two sides to it: When to Fight and How To Fight.

* When To Fight

Marriage is companionship, partnership, and participation. The combination of all these should bring fulfillment and happiness to the couples involved. But sometimes, one party begins to suffer neglect and hurts especially when there is no longer evenness in the marriage as it ought to be. This may be due to odd attitudes, lies, irresponsibility, and the like.

When these strange elements start creeping into your marriage, it may be time to put your feet on the ground, not to run way, but to FIGHT! And this time, a fair fight.

* How To Fight Fairly

- Ensure your interest in the matter is selfless.

Marriage is not about one person, but two persons or more, especially when kids are involved. Considering how an issue will affect the other parties involved will be the wisest thing to do before standing your ground on it.

You can't fight fairly over an issue when you have a self-centered intention or interest. Such selfishness is yet to help any marriage as statistics have shown. Until you are sincere about the issue on ground, your muscles aren't yet prepared for the big fair fight.

- Talk it out with your spouse.

The fair fight begins as soon as you've cleared yourself that your interest on the issue is selfless and favorable to all parties involved. The first strike is to have a talk with your spouse.

There are many things to avoid as you begin talking. Don't shout, scream, or speak on top of your voice. Speak like someone with good motives. Speak with respect. Air your opinion and why you think the matter should go your way. It may not take too long before your spouse begin to see things your way.

Also, when you start talking, listen carefully to your spouse's side of the matter. And be ready for very little compromises, if that's what is needed to settle the issue on ground. Remember, fighting fairly means every party involved must be happy at the end without bruises.

- Invite a counselor

If the first strike of trying to talk out things with your spouse doesn't work out, then don't give up. The fight had only begun; it may be time to try the second strike: invite a counselor.

The counselor to invite mustn't be a professional counselor. An experienced elderly person that your spouse respects and will listen to would be the right person to call upon to referee this good fight. Such counselors are very experienced and since your spouse holds them in high esteem, they may be able to talk things into your spouse and settle the issue.

Couples parents can act as good counselors as well.

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