by Pete Grey

Created on: July 27, 2009

The Greatest Text Message Jokes

These are some text messages I received from my friends. They are cool and thought of sharing with you all. Enjoy.

Warning! Kids in front seat can cause accidents. And also accidents in back seat can cause Kids.

What does a pizza delivery boy & a gynecologist have in common?....
They can both smell it but not eat it.

Guys are like roses; But, watch out for the prick.

What will a blonde ask you if you tell her she's pregnant? . "Is it mine?"

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 20 pounds and a mother-in-law.

Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when you're old.

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

A good friend is like a good bra... hard 2 find comfortable supportive - prevents u from falling - holds u tight - and is always close 2 ur heart!

Two sausages are in a frying pan. First sausage says: "It's hot in here". Second sausage replies: "Eeek, a talking sausage!"

You're Attractive, Gorgeous, Sexy, Intelligent, Smart, Charming, Sophisticated, Fit, Kind & Generous. In fact you're becoming more like me everyday!

A woman was found dead in her home 2day! She was discovered in her bath tub which was filled with milk & cornflakes. The police suspect a cerial killer!

Tell me madam,is it going in?..yeah

Is it hurting madam?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..

Ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh.

Then lets try the other shoe madam.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense............? Tell you later........

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... when satisfied he left... I was hurt... DAMN MOSQUITO

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U laugh i laugh. U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i laugh again

be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart. For this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text! pass on

Hey friend, remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty. So the world needs YOU after all!

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!

If U delete this message that's bcoz u love me. If u save it that's bcoz u desire me & if u ignore it that's bcoz u miss me. So what u gonna do with IT?

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