by Mary Jensen

Created on: July 25, 2009

For a woman who wants to have a child, having a miscarriage is one of the most traumatic experiences you can go through. It can be more or less traumatic depending on how far along you are. And then to find out that you are pregnant again can stir up some very mixed emotions.

Losing a child is not easy, no matter what stage of the pregnancy you were in. There are a lot of questions of why did this happen? How did this happen? Did I do something wrong? You feel sad, angry, alone. You may even feel suicidal because all you want is to see your baby. These emotions are very serious and need to be addressed. If they are not addressed you may rush into another pregnancy to fill the void or relieve the grief of the last pregnancy. This is not fair to you, the baby you are having, or the baby you lost. It is very important to make sure your heart is healed after having a miscarriage/stillbirth before trying again. Seek counseling if needed, or if you are having any thoughts of suicide.

Also, once you are pregnant again do your best not to compare this pregnancy to a miscarried one. That will only cause stress that a mommy to be does not need. Many moms to be who get pregnant after having a miscarriage don't want to do any of the exciting pregnancy things like, shopping for your baby, registering for a baby shower, having a baby shower, or even telling anyone about the pregnancy. This all comes from fear of losing this pregnancy and the mom to be simply doesn't want to get her hopes up. This isn't the route to take. Don't let your past rule your future. Instead of letting the miscarriage overshadow your joy, let your joy of bringing this new life into the world overshadow any fears you have.

Avoiding shopping, registering, and talking about your pregnancy is something you will really regret. Enjoy it like it is the 1st time you have ever been pregnant. When this baby is born you will want to look back at this time and smile, not think about how scared you were. Having a certain level of fear is completely understandable. But this is a new pregnancy, a new baby, and you have to give it a chance. Like stated earlier, don't let your past rule your future, and don't let your fear rule your life.

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