by Rubab Hamdani

Created on: July 25, 2009   Last Updated: July 26, 2009

Forgiveness is not such an easy task, especially if some one you love, such as your spouse, has acted in a hurtful way. It is understandable if you cannot find it in your heart to forgive your spouse when you are badly hurt. We are all sensitive where the recipient of our love (i.e. our one true soul mate) is concerned. We want him/her to be perfect, but the truth is that we are all imperfect beings and in moments of weakness may lose track. But if there is someone like a loving wife or a husband at home to enfold you in his/her arms and forgive you instead of sending you on a guilt trip, it makes you strong and you resolve never to repeat such a mistake again.

Forgiveness is an act of a giving and compassionate heart. But when your heart is badly bruised it may be difficult for you to find forgiveness anywhere in it. Trying to keep your marriage on solid ground is hard enough and when you find out something hurtful that your spouse did, it spoils all the hard work you put into your marriage. But losing heart is the biggest sin ever, so always look at the bright side and forgiveness will come in due course.

If your marriage is important to you and you want to protect it then forgiveness becomes inevitable. If you have kids then stakes become even higher and you have to show perseverance and give your spouse another chance. In a situation where your spouse himself or herself comes up to you for confession seeking forgiveness, please try to be compassionate. They must be going through a tough time at the hands of their conscience; otherwise they would not have come to you to confess. For the sake of your marriage and your mutual love try to forgive your partner. Do not torture him/her by your stoic or cold attitude.

Nature of the wrong act defines how easy or difficult it will be for you to forgive and forget. Most of the time when couples fight, they say hurtful things to each other, you cannot hold a grudge against your spouse for something he/she blurted out in the heat of the moment. It is very much possible that your husband or wife is already feeling bad for saying what they did, so instead of prolonging the whole thing just kiss and make up, after all you exchanged vows that say for better or for worse, for good or for bad.

Every marriage has its highs and lows, everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect, nothing is without flaws, so it is sheer stupidity to expect your spouse to be perfect or any where near perfect for that matter. It is not so

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