by Nancy Canfield

Created on: July 25, 2009

The eldest grand niece has moved back to the Griswold household temporarily, along with her two cats and significant other. We have a cat, that I call "Damn" because I can never remember her name, a dog, Trouble, and (thank God) we're down to two birds called something stupid and something else stupid. My sister has methodically killed off the other three, unintentionally of course. Two additional animals infiltrating our camp are bound to cause some dissent among the ranks so, let the war games begin. Animals are fascinating when introduced to a new family member.

When Jah and Smokey landed, the dog got so excited he started shivering all over and then peed on the floor. I'm not big on cats, but I have to say, these two are funny. They travel together, conducting reconnaissance missions. The bird cage is of particular interest, which is why at this moment the kids are up in the attic dragging down the bird condo that hangs from the ceiling. It's the one that gave me a slight concussion this spring, and one time came damn close to putting one of my eyes out.

So my sister is out in the kitchen trying to convince the dog that Jah and Smokey aren't chew toys. She has long winded conversations with the dog, and he sits there looking at her. Of course, she is convinced that he is contemplating her explanations, but I'd be willing to bet he's thinking if he looks like he's paying attention he'll get a treat. Hey, you know those treats should not, I repeat should not be packaged in attractive foil bags that look like a yummy new brand of granola snacks. The FDA needs to take a look at that one.

Anyway, the "General" now realizes that he is not being relieved of command, but will take on the added responsibility of devising a training program for the new recruits. I know this because my sister said so. Cat team 2 has now completed reconnaissance and has set up camp by the satellite cage. The troops are lined up in the living room, and upon inspection, one member is declared AWOL. Damn cat has not been seen since last night. Smokey decides to do a little weapon cleaning, and is clawing the brocade chair. The General barks out an order to cease and desist destroying his favorite napping chair as Jah humps up like a car jack, hissing and snarling. There is dissent in the ranks. The lines are drawn.

All the while I am haunted by a vision of a full blown war. I'm minding my own business when I suddenly experience a searing pain on my right shoulder. My eyes enlarge

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