by Susan Klatz Beal

Created on: July 25, 2009   Last Updated: April 15, 2011

College is a very exciting time in the life of a young person. Students who haven't ever had so much independence can get swept up in the allure of new opportunities, and the fact that they no longer have to answer to anyone but themselves. Whether or not a student realizes it, their absence will probably be more difficult for their parents than it is for them. Wanting to be more independent is fine, but it's also important to keep parents in the loop. To satisfy everyone, there needs to be a happy medium.

*Commit to having regular communication -

One way to ease parental anxieties is to come to an agreement whereby there will be regular communication between parents and child. Now that most children have cell phones when they go away to college, there is really no excuse for not maintaining regular communication with one's parents. Determine what feels comfortable for the entire family.

*Schedule regular calling times -

It's unlikely that a child will want to have to contact their parents every day, but a parent maybe able to live with an arrangement whereby a student calls home at least once or twice a week. Establish a specific day and time at which one or the other will make that call and stick to it.

*Take advantage of e-mail -

E-mailing is another great way to keep in touch. A parent will welcome regular e-mail communication from their child. A digital camera can make it possible for a child to send their parents pictures of places on campus, of their friends, of their dorm room (if they don't keep it a mess,) or anything else. Even a small token like this will be very reassuring for an anxious parent. If e-mail isn't possible, consider sending a text message just to say hi. Many parents know that the only guaranteed way to reach their children is by sending a text message.

*Web-chats

Another possible way by which to keep in touch is by having regular online chats. A web cam can make it possible for a student to see their parents and vice versa. This can be equally comforting for a home sick freshman as it is for a parent whose oldest child has just left home for the first time.

Keeping parents in the loop doesn't have to mean daily phone calls, or multiple phone calls a day. No student wants to feel as though their parents are "spying" on them, and no parent wants to feel as though their child is shutting them out. Each family will need to figure out what works for them, and the frequency with which everyone will be satisfied. Once that is determined, the key is to commit to it and not to allow the craziness of college life or the lure of social activities to prevent a student from honoring that commitment.

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