by Rubab Hamdani

Created on: July 25, 2009   Last Updated: July 26, 2009

Difference of opinion, argument and a healthy debate add zest and spirit to a marriage. If anyone claims that they have never had a disagreement or a fight in their marriage, either they are lying or they are probably delusional. Marriage is a union of two people, with two distinct personalities and egos and both the parties have a long history of varied experiences that have fashioned their behavioral patterns in different ways. Beauty of a marriage lies in the fact, that two very different people come together, create friction and unite and merge to start a new life.

Friction of personalities is essential for a normal and healthy marriage, when you disagree and place your differences on the table; you come up with a solution that satisfies both of you. Usually if this friction is missing from a marriage it is a sign of suppressed emotions, and a lack of communication, both of which can harm your relationship.

Therefore one thing is certain that fighting makes a marriage healthy and keeps it from becoming boring and dull. Friction adds spice and color to your life and the process of making up after an argument is such a sweet path of tender love that you would not want to miss it. But there is a catch; a very fine line separates healthy positive friction from demeaning and hurtful fights. Bad fights turn your marriage upside down and breed disrespect for your spouse. Always try to fight fairly so that no one is wronged.Here are a few tips that might help you keep your fights fair:

1. My way or no way this is a very wrong approach, remind yourself that you are not the only sensible person in the room the other party is also an adult with a healthy thinking mind and just because his/her point of view is different from yours this does not mean that he/she is altogether wrong.

2. Do not be like one of those people who once start talking need a gag to put a stop to their overflowing tirade. Listen attentively to what your spouse is saying and then give your arguments against his stance. If you keep talking and refuse to listen this will only frustrate the other person and he/she might give up which definitely does not mean that you have won. It only means that your spouse is dissatisfied and has sulkily accepted your opinion. Such a compromise from either side can only create more problems for you.

3. Always try to find a middle way to solve a problem. It might be difficult at times to find a solution that completely satisfies both the parties, this is when

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