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Humor: Horrible first dates

by Cindere11a

Created on: July 25, 2009

You're traveling through another dimension - a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance. You've just crossed over into - the Twilight Zone...

I was running out of time and had to make a decision fast. Reaching for the phone I dialed for help...

"Oh, Judy. Thank goodness you're home!"

"Camille? What's wrong? Shouldn't you be on your way to the restaurant?"



"I am NOT going."

"Oh, come on! You've got to go. After all, the guy's traveled all the way from D.C. to take you to dinner."

"I know. But I have this eerie feeling if I go something bad is going to happen."

"Well...you can't just stand him up at the last minute. It wouldn't be right."

"Ugh. I knew it was a mistake to call you. 'Always gotta do the right thing', I mimicked. "Should've called Jim. He'd tell me it was okay to stay home."

"Yeah, well, Jim has the hots for you and would just as soon you lived in a closet."

"Very funny."

Ignoring Judy as she babbled on about proper dating etiquette and the futility of my life if I didn't find a man soon, I opened my laptop to re-read Ken's on line profile. Maybe I overlooked something in his bio that would explain my paranoia. Let's see...attorney...divorced 5 yrs...no kids...' and then all of a sudden, poof! the proverbial light bulb went on and I knew what was wrong.

"I've got it!", I shouted, slamming my laptop shut.

"Got what?" Judy was becoming agitated. "Were you listening to anything I was saying?"

"Today is Friday the 13th! That's why I'm nervous about going. They always say strange and bizarre things happen on the 13th."

"Aw - come on! You're kidding, right?" You don't actually believe that stuff, do you?"

"Well, no, I guess not...but seeing as how the 13th is considered a day of bad luck, that would totally explain why..."

"Quit being silly, hang up the phone and get going. Don't forget to call me in the morning. Can't wait to hear all about it!"

"Alright", I sighed. "But if something horrible happens tonight, it's all your fault. "

Frustrated, I snapped my cell phone shut (probably a little harder than necessary) and shoved it into the pocket of my red bag which was hanging on a hook by the back door. Lovely. I have my purse, but no idea where my car keys are. After a futile search in the living room and kitchen, I headed for the bedroom. They better be in there or I'm in big trouble.

Passing the bathroom I decided to do a quick check to make sure the Avon Lady hadn't

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