by Lisa Martens

Created on: July 25, 2009   Last Updated: July 26, 2009

I once heard about a girl whose underwear all went missing, and she eventually found out that her roommate "borrowed" it all. Hopefully, this will never happen to you, but sharing space with someone is going to present problems for everybody. Those with siblings may be used to the annoyances of sharing a living space, but it can still be hard. Here are a few tips to help you out.

1. Divide chores between everyone; give each person a specific chore.

There's a problem called "diffusion of responsibility." When there are a lot of people given a list of tasks to do, everyone in the group may feel like someone else will pick up the problem. This is why during an emergency situation, teachers and other public servants are trained to point to a SPECIFIC person and say, "Call 911." Everyone knows what to do, but when the responsibilities aren't assigned, they generally get lost. Making a list of who-does-what will be helpful. The chores can stay the same or be switched up every week. This way Bob knows it's his job to take out the trash and recycle bottles, Amy knows that she has to do the dishes, etc.

2. Do not call dibs on the bathroom/kitchen.

Some roommates try to set up a bathroom schedule, particularly in the morning when the shower is a hot item. This is a bad idea. Get used to the bathroom being first-come, first-serve. It won't be like back home where you might have your own bathroom, and so you may have to get up earlier to use the shower or...maybe not bathe at all. Someone might have to start showering at night. Either way, let the situation play itself...and don't let someone call dibs on the shower or kitchen. That's just wrong.

3. Clean up your own major messes...this includes guests.

Everyone has trash, so it's OK to assign someone to take out the trash every day. But when you do a major cleaning of your room (and maybe you find some old food, exploded batteries, and unidentified goo) or have a mini-party, don't expect these to be covered under the general house chores. If you do something unusual that creates extra mess or trash, take responsibility for it yourself.

4. Don't get defensive.

You're not perfect. You will make mistakes that annoy your roommate. Instead of being spiteful and finding passive aggressive ways to "get back" at your roommate, just let it go. Admit that you made a mistake, and apologize. Maybe offer to do your roommate's chore for the day or week, depending on the severity of the offense. Your roommate doesn't expect

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