by Teia Rogers

Created on: July 24, 2009   Last Updated: July 25, 2009

Online articles won't give you all the information you need about love. Most of what you need to know will happen through your own trials. You need to have these experiences to know what works for you and what doesn't. Advice about love is colored by the perspective of the speaker. If you're receiving advice from someone who hasn't put down the Ethical Slut since its original publishing date, you'll get the viewpoint of an unrestricted poly. That might not be your thing. So take advice, particularly the advice of anonymous online articles, lightly. Know that your experience will give you knowledge.

Love in the queer scene can be challenging. I have always professed that gay guys get everything! They have the best parties, their Pride floats are bigger, they have a universal style that, let's face it, some dykes don't have. Gay dudes have much more access in the dating world. So prepare yourself for those obstacles. You'll have to work harder to find the hidden pockets of lesbians, but when the well springs forth, dive in.

The possibilities for partnership can appear in several locations. Online dating isn't a strange and awkward occurrence anymore. Clubs and bars are still pretty obvious places to find other lesbians interested in a conversation and a cocktail. You may have to Google your local girl bar and check it out. Keep in mind that weeknights are for your regular ladies. Weekends are a haven for the bridge and tunnel crowd. It helps to know the contours of the clientele before you head off in a cab. Organizations that have activities for lesbians are excellent places to find someone and right away you probably have a lot in common. Just realize that love might take time. Finding partnership can take time.

Generally speaking you'll have a few hits and misses. Keep an eye out for pretend-bians. These are women who aren't bi-sexual and aren't lesbians. They are gay for entertainments sake. Rest assured they're on vacation and feeling a little trashy. Don't try to fall in love with one of them. Chances are they have a boyfriend. When you get a hit and you feel the familiar pangs of love, don't be surprised when you find yourself wanting to spend all your time with her. There are many jokes about lesbians bringing a U-Haul on their second date for a reason. In a community of hormonal and emotionally driven women, connections can come hot and fast. Relax. You'll learn all about this crazy feeling when you meet her.

As with any dating scenario, develop thick skin. She might not be into you. That's okay. Recognize your own worth. Project your confidence and keep trying. Nothing is more attractive than someone who knows their value. In a community of women who live in a male dominated society we have to be tough. Insecurity doesn't score many points in the lesbian world. The best possible advice is to buy a girl a drink. That's always a good place to start.

Learn more about this author, Teia Rogers.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.