by Barbara Kasey Smith

Created on: July 24, 2009

Why no affair is ever just a mistake...Affairs become a reality when either the male or the female is not reaching fulfillment in their needs and desires in their lives. It may not feel like a mistake to a person who is having an affair because they feel they are justified because they are not being satisfied in their relationship or marriage and they need this to release their desires in their life.

It is my feeling, affairs start when a person is desperately lacking a vital need in their marriage or their relationship and it is not being met by their mate. Many people who are always searching for something different in their lives have an urge for something they are not getting but they crave. Many people are not fortunate enough to realize what their real needs are and they go through life with one affair after another and they never find true happiness. This type person should seek counseling.

Some people enjoy certain types of sexual love making, and if it is not met, they go searching for it from another person. They may not be aware of exactly what it is they need but they start a search to get and to achieve a complete satisfaction. They may push their desires aside for sometime but the need is always there and it haunts them continually and until they get what they need in their life.

When people require and need to be shown affection and love, and they are not getting it, they will seek out a new partner to satisfy their need. A person who likes to be cuddled and snuggled up to and made to feel loved on a regular basis and their mate is one who does not enjoy this and doesn't do it, it's just a matter of time until their mate will be having an affair seeking affection. People cannot cut off their desires and their wishes like a water spigot that can be turned on and off because their deep seeded problems still exists.

It's hard to have a mate who is cold and doesn't show any form of warm loving affections to their mate. No person likes to feel they are being used for sex only, and when it is over there is absolutely "no" expressions of a warm love and affection shown whatsoever until it is time for them to mate again...then the affections are brief. This is a put-down from the person who is on the receiving line and they feel their is "no" sort of love in their relationship but while the sex game is in process.

These type problems are deep seeded needs for some people and it may go back as far as their early childhood days or it may be they felt unloved by their parents because they were never nurtured by them or no-one ever show them any sort of attentions and they end up craving it. People who have these type unsatisfied cravings should seek counseling to find out what their problem might be. Many people crave this type of attention, and if they do not get it, it hurts their ego's and makes them feel less of a person for life.

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