by Lisa Martens

Created on: July 24, 2009

It's difficult to be a college student: You're on your own, but not really...you live at home, but not really...and you're parents are completely involved in your business.

But not really.

Of course, life will change once you're not with your mom and dad on a daily basis anymore. They may still give you money, and pay for your tuition, but there's apt to be some changes once you're not living at home year-round. Here are a couple of things you can do that will assert your independence in the minds of your parents:

1. Get a part-time job or become involved in a club at school.

Parents worry about all your free time, and they also worry if they're babying you too much. These are good ways to show you're independent and that you know how to manage your time. Parents may worry that idle hands are the devil's workshop...if you're not working, and you don't have class all the time, then what exactly are you doing? These are good ways to reassure parents that you have not become a blob, a job is good for spending money, and to beef up your resume. Hey, it's a good way to meet friends in a new place, too. You won't make friends hanging around your room all day.

2. Keep some things personal and know when to ask.

Keep your parents in the loop, but you don't have to tell them about every single date you go on, or every party you go to, or every homework assignment you have. Your parents have to get used to not having a day-to-day update from you, and so do you. Also, try to decide on your own which problems you need help with and which you do not. You don't have to go to your parents with every argument with a roommate you have, and you may not need money from them over small issues.

Like everything else, this is a balancing game. There are some things you should definitely tell your parents about, such as:

1. Money Issues

OK, so maybe you don't have to run to your parents pouting that you need a new iPod. But if you have an issue with tuition, or you're thinking of taking student loans, definitely talk it over with your parents. Some loans require your parents' signature, and other loans have a lower interest rate if you have a co-signer. These are all things you should discuss with parents. Of course, this depends on how involved your parents are in your finances. Even if you don't think your parents know much about finances or if you think they cannot help you, it's still nice to keep them involved so there are no surprises down the line.

2. Health Issues

This goes without saying. It's a little normal to want your parents around if you're sick, although there may not be any chicken soup being served to you. If you have medical issues, it's good to keep your parents in the know and as your emergency contacts.

3. Friendships

Tell your parents about your friends and what you do. This helps reassure them that you haven't gone nuts. Parents have crazy imaginations, and they will imagine that you have friends with bones through their noses who sell crack to fifth graders if you don't tell them what your friends are REALLY like. This also gives them something to talk about, so they can say, "How is your friend the park ranger? Has she seen any bears at work?"

Parents are just concerned. Having set times to talk to them is always a good idea. It's also nice to send an email once in a while, or a picture of something that you saw that reminded you of them. It's the little things that count. If you miss them, send a message saying so. It will mean a lot to them. And don't forget to visit often!

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