by James Thornton

Created on: July 23, 2009

Love is arguably the most difficult emotion to define. The word itself can mean be interpreted in any number of ways. For some, romantic love springs to mind while for others the bonds between a parent and child serves as the foremost example of love. Classically trained philosophers are more familiar with the Classic Greek categorizations of love: Agape, Storge, Eros, Philia, and Xenia.

The Bible tells us in both the Ten Commandments and New Testament to love our neighbors. Jesus tells us that loving God is the greatest commandment and loving our neighbor is the second greatest (Mark 12:30-31). However, defining love is not easily accomplished even in the Bible. The best example of pure love is provided in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus was speaking of his coming crucifixion, but he was also teaching us that the best way to show love is through sacrifice.

Soldiers understand love and sacrifice. Stories abound of men who throw themselves on grenades or die dashing across an open field to save a wounded comrade. Soldiers who sacrifice themselves in battle do so often out of loyalty and love for their comrades and nation. The Greeks would identify this love as Philia. Sacrificing yourself, your very life, is the epitome of friendship. The best of friends go out of their way for us without ever asking for anything in return. People often refuse to be a "doormat" or are eager take advantage of a friend's generosity. More often than not people are more interested in the benefits rather than the costs of friendship.

Romantic love, or the Greek Agape, is best expressed in marriage. Romantic love can be considered a combination of Agape and Eros, which adds the spice and spark to the relationship. Two people make a commitment to live with and love each other for the remainder of their lives. A lot of sacrifice goes into marriage. Both partners surrender dreams and aspirations to nurture the marriage. When marriages fail it is usually because one or both spouses are selfish. When one learns to love and live for someone else, one has learned what true love is. When someone loves you in this manner it becomes easy to fall in love with them and to return that type of unquestioning, unfailing, and ever lasting love. All too often we want to be loved without loving in return.

Parental love, or the Greek Storge, is another selfless love. Just as in marriage, true parenting requires real sacrifice. Time is the one shared sacrifice required of each parent regardless of wealth or social standing. Which child is more loved; the child in a poor home that has the constant affection of the parents or the rich neglected child left in the care of a nanny or boarding school? Would a good parent think twice about doing without for themselves in order to afford Christmas presents, piano lessons, or a private education? Consider the tragedies of child neglect and abuse, and then reflect on the selfishness of the parent involved.

Loving others make us better people. The teachings in all of the world's major religions and philosophies confirm this. Confucius taught his students that a loving life was a moral life, which should be the goal of all people. We must learn to separate feelings and impulses that we mistake for love when they are actually rooted in self interest. Finding true love means sacrifice. Are you ready? Can you love?

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