by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: July 23, 2009

There is a huge difference between a want and a need. There are also huge differences between men and women. Men are primarily creatures of desire while women are creatures of need. This is not to say that one is weaker than the other, only that they are internally different and this should be recognized in order that we might be better able to understand and relate to one another, especially in romantic relationships.

*What Men Want

Men, for the most part, want to be respected and treated as important and needed individuals. They want to be the heroes, the providers, and the saviors of the world. This makes them feel useful and appreciated by their female counterparts. This phenomena has been around since the beginning when men were the hunters and gatherers, finding their relationship value in how well they could provide for their women and children.

Men also have physical desires that are of the intimate nature. They want to be with a woman that they feel is sexually desirable and who they can enjoy a healthy and exciting intimacy with. The desires may differ from man to man, but overall, they want to be pleased in this way regularly and without having to "beg" for it from the woman that they are in a relationship with. They want to feel that she desires him in this same way so that their own self-esteem or ego is fed.

Men, even though they want to be good providers, want to be cared for by women. They want a woman who will spoil them and show them love and affection. They may not understand this, or know how to ask for it, but they want it. When they get it, they are happy and will often look no further than the woman who is providing it to them.

*What Women Need

Women, on the other hand, have actual needs and they will not thrive in a relationship with a man unless their needs are met. They may be willing to stay in the relationship, but they will never meet their full potential or be properly able to meet the desires of the man.

Women need to feel loved. This goes beyond being loved, to actually feeling it. Women will feel loved when they are appreciated, treated with affection and consideration, and shown a bit of romance from time to time. Women cannot be taken for granted and put on a shelf if they are to prosper emotionally. They require upkeep and care.

Women need to feel secure with the person they are in a romantic relationship with. They need to feel that they will be provided for, both physically and emotionally. They also need to feel safe giving their hearts to the person they are with, having no fear of being betrayed or hurt.

Women need to be able to trust the person that they are with. They need to feel a certainty that they will not be lied to or cheated on. If they don't, the pervasive fear of future hurt will cripple them in their ability to develop healthy relationships and experience happiness and internal peace.

Men and women have many differences, many of them easily seen in their wants and needs. It is in understanding these differences that we can find a common ground to meet on that will benefit both of the genders. Relationships will prosper and grow when this is accomplished.

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